Those Left Behind
by lloydskywalkers
Summary: In the aftermath of Harumi and Garmadon and the loss of Ninjago, Lloyd and Nya try to piece together what's left of their family - and figure out what comes next. It's a slow process.
1. Chapter 1

**Me: I need to stay focused on Raising Hell, nothing can distract me from writing that and I certainly don't need to be starting horribly angsty one-shots on the side.**

 **Me after the finale, in tears: Oops.**

* * *

The first light of dawn is just creeping over the horizon when they reach the outskirts of the city, the rising sun painting the morning sky a bloody, brilliant red. Smoke rises from the city behind them, visible even at this distance – the screams and sounds of destruction are mercifully muffled, though. The morning air is unnervingly silent – the usual sounds of wildlife are gone, as if the very earth itself has fled from the destruction. The only sounds are those of their footsteps, weary and stumbling through the dirt.

Nya knows the way like the back of her hand, but this is the first time she's gone by foot. There's no other option, though. It was all they could do to get out of the city alive – any vehicle would have been too noticeable, too difficult to retrieve.

No one even mentions trying to spark their dragons. They already know what the result will be.

They reach the junkyard just as the sun rises fully over the horizon, the light it casts painful after the seemingly unending night of darkness. Nya leads the way under the rusted arch, her throat drying up.

The door to the to the trailer swings open with a loud whine, slamming back on its hinges as a figure rushes out, having seen them coming. They make a sorry picture, on the whole – Misako's cheek is bruised, her hair a tangled mess as she holds her left arm awkwardly. Lloyd is slumped against her right arm, barely able to support himself, his blond hair dark with dirt and blood and his visible skin still a multi-colored collage of cuts and bruises. Pixal isn't sporting any injuries, but her expression is dead, her right arm sparking slightly. Nya knows she's not much better, her own injuries making themselves painfully apparent.

Edna Walker gasps in open horror. "Oh, Nya, _sweetie_ -" she steps forward, her eyes wide and searching as she looks them over. "What happened?"

Nya opens her mouth, then closes it. The door swings open again, and Ed Walker is running toward them, looking as stricken as his wife. He comes to a stop behind his wife, grabbing her hand.

"Nya?"

She shakes her head, her eyes flooding with tears as she chokes back a wracking sob. "I'm so sorry," she croaks, wetly. "I'm so sorry."

* * *

Lloyd is numb. Which is weird, because he hasn't stopped shaking since he got here, his fingers trembling incessantly over the mug Mrs. Walker had forced into his hands, his teeth chattering.

"It'll help," she'd said to him kindly, her eyes weary with grief but soft as they searched him. "Do you need anything else? Are you alright?"

 _No_ , Lloyd had wanted to scream. _No, I'm not, but I'm the reason your son isn't here, so you definitely should not care at all-_

Lloyd had simply nodded. Technically, he _isn't_ hurting right now – and despite the way he's shaking, he doesn't even feel cold.

Because he doesn't feel _anything_. He's still back in the city, stuck on a sky tram and watching the _Bounty_ crushed to pieces on repeat.

* * *

His mother says something to him, after he lands on the boat, still winded from his exchange with Harumi. He doesn't hear her – not even when she grabs his arm after he pilots the boat to a street corner, not even when he jumps off, her shouts echoing after him as he runs toward the city center.

Not even when he staggers to the wreckage of the _Bounty_ , abandoned now that _he's_ moved on.

All Lloyd can hear are the last, desperate cries of the ninja – of his _family_ , right before the colossi crushed the ship. They echo against his skull, replaying again and again, almost as loud as his frantic denial.

 _No, no, no no nonono_ _ **please**_ _-_

" _Kai!"_

He tears into the wreckage, splintered wood and sharp metal debris slicing into his hands as he yanks it aside. He barely registers the pain, only pulling harder at the remains of the _Bounty_ , looking for any traces of black or white or blue or – or red-

"Cole, Jay, Zane – come _on_!"

 _Please, please, please-_

"Uncle Wu!"

Lloyd pauses, reaching with all he can for the core that's always burned inside of him, for the familiar thrum of his power. There's nothing – just the empty, hollow blankness he'd felt earlier. He squeezes his eyes shut, blinking back the surge of emotion. He's knee-deep in the remains of his home, now. A part of him realizes that his mother has come to stand behind him, pulling gently at the wreckage along with him. Lloyd doesn't process this – he's managed to get deep enough to have hit the interior of the ship, and he's starting to recognize the shapes and colors of the broken rubble he's pulling away, the memories of an entire life built with these people-

 _Please_.

Lloyd searches until the sky has started turning, the dark of the night beginning to lighten. By now, he's missing half his fingernails and his hands are a bloody, torn mess. He clings to that pain like it's a lifeline - adds it to the throbbing pain in his leg, the dull aches that still pulses all over him. If he holds onto that, the physical pain, then maybe he can ignore - he can ignore-

Lloyd finally stops, staring at the wreckage, his hands falling uselessly to his sides.

They would have come up by now. They would have said something – Cole would have lifted the debris from them, or Zane would have found a way out, or Kai would have burned his way through, or-

They wouldn't just wait there silently. They would be back up already, ready to fight, to get revenge because their home's been destroyed, _again_. They wouldn't still be under. They wouldn't leave him hanging like this.

The only possible reason they're not responding is – is –

"Lloyd," his mother's voice is hushed, quiet and full of grief. "Lloyd, son, we have to go."

He shakes his head. He has to keep searching. He has to find them – he _will_ find them, he just needs more time, he – they would never leave him behind, if situations were reversed-

Wild cries echo down the street, the now-familiar voices of the Sons of Garmadon.

"Lloyd," his mother says, nearly begging him, her hand around his arm now. "Lloyd, please, we need to go-"

Lloyd blinks back the burn of tears, his fists clenching so tightly his nails bite bloody half-moons into his palms.

 _No, no, no-_

He rips himself away from the wreckage, letting his mother pull him down the streets. He turns back as they flee, giving the _Bounty_ one last look-

They're not there. They're not coming.

Lloyd staggers, his leg catching, and a hot spike of agony shoots through his ankle and up his calf. He gives a muffled cry of pain, stumbling forward. His mother grabs him in concern, and he swats her off. It's nothing, he'd injured it earlier, that's all. It's always been weak, this is the same leg he'd broken a couple years back, that fateful day he fought the Overlord. It's the same fiery throbbing he remembers, the same pain he'd pushed back as he'd climbed the tower, clinging desperately to Kai-

Lloyd misses a step, falling to his knees as his leg gives out.

 _No, no, no, no, no-_

The Sons of Garmadon are even closer now, their voices too close for comfort, but Lloyd can't bring himself to care.

 _Come on, then_ , he thinks, savagely. _Come at me, I'll make you **pay**_ -

With a sudden lurch, Misako has an arm around his middle and is hoisting him up, dragging him forward until they both stumble onto the boat. She pauses just to make sure he's seated, then rushes to the wheel, revving the boat to life and taking them downriver, away from the burning city. Lloyd sits crumpled near the edge of the boat, his leg throbbing and his hands leaving little bloody patches where they're clenched against the fabric of his uniform.

* * *

He had stayed like that until they'd gotten out of the city, his eyes glazing over as he'd fallen into a numb sort of haze. He barely remembers his mother talking to Pixal through the radio, telling her where to meet them. He doesn't register getting out of the boat, Misako half-dragging him as they rushed to where Nya was hiding.

All he remembers is the horrible, stricken look in Nya's eyes when he tells her. The desperate sort of denial that crosses her face as she shakes her head, telling him _no, no, he has to be mistaken, that's impossible-_

Lloyd remembers being glad for the rush of tears that blurs his vision as she crumples against him, because it distorts the look of utter, heartbroken devastation on her face that he'd never, ever dreamed he'd see.

Everything after that is a painful, foggy haze – he barely even remembers how he got into the Walker's house, or who draped the blanket over his shoulders. He's not sure how long he's been sitting here, but it has to be late afternoon – the sun is high in the sky, filtering through the blinds. Mr. and Mrs. Walker are outside with Pixal, talking over putting up safety measures. He doesn't know where Nya is.

Lloyd shivers again, his shoulders seizing as the mug rattles against the table. His mother shoots him a look of concern, rising from where she'd flipping through an old book and crossing over to him.

"Lloyd-" She hesitates at his tiny flinch as her hand rests on his shoulder. She sighs, weary and sad. "You should get some rest, son."

Lloyd shakes his head. "I'm fine," he says, even as a traitorous yawn escapes him. He clamps his jaw shut, slamming the mug down and standing up. "I can't – we don't have time, there's too much to do, he's – he's still out there, mom, I have to-"

"Shh, Lloyd, Lloyd, calm down." Misako's voice is distressed as she grabs him, forcing him back down, this time onto one of the Walker's old couches. She grabs his shoulders, forcing him to meet her gaze. "There's nothing you can do like this," she says, her voice gentle. "We're safe for now, alright? You can't do anything if you're dead on your feet."

 _We_ _'re not safe,_ Lloyd wants to yell at her. No one is safe, not while Harumi is still out there, not while his father-

Lloyd winces, his heart stuttering as memories from the prison crash back down on him. He hurriedly thinks of something else, fighting back the sudden wave of nausea.

"Okay," he whispers, staring down at his hands. The bandages his mother had hastily put on are just starting to loosen.

His mother leans over, pressing a kiss to his cheek before she stands. She adjusts the blanket he has around his shoulders, pulling it more firmly around him. "Sleep, alright?" she says, firmly. "I'll be in the room over if you need me."

Lloyd nods, watching her leave the room. He sinks back against the couch, his head tipping back as he exhales wearily. He doesn't want to sleep. He knows what's waiting for him when he closes his eyes. It's like after Morro, when he'd mistakenly thought sleep would be an escape from reality – except this time it's a hundred, a thousand times worse. With Morro, Lloyd could wake up in his room on the _Bounty_ , and Kai would-

Lloyd squeezes his eyes shut tightly, biting down _hard_ on his lip. He can't think about it, he can't, he can't-

The soft sound of footsteps brings him back, his eyes snapping open. Nya is standing in the room's entrance, wearing a bright blue sweatshirt and baggy sweatpants, her hair loose from her usual ponytail. Her eyes are bloodshot and puffy, and her face is lined in grief.

She clutches the blanket she's holding tightly. "Hey," she says, her voice raspy. "I – uh, Mrs. Walker gave me the only spare room, but it's – it's-" she swallows, her jaw working. "It's Jay's old room, and I…your mom can have it, if she wants."

Lloyd nods, his mouth dry. "Thanks," he whispers.

Nya glances to the space on the couch beside him. "Got any room to share?" she says, offering him the weakest excuse for a smile he's ever seen.

"Wha – oh, yeah, o-of course." Lloyd scoots over, giving Nya more room as she climbs onto the couch beside him, tucking her feet up beneath her. She immediately curls up against him, her head pressing against his shoulder. They sit in silence, the only sounds the gentle murmur of conversation from outside and of Misako turning pages in the other room.

He suddenly feels Nya's hand wrap around his, her fingers squeezing his so tightly he can feel the bones creak. She shudders against him, the vibrations running up his arm. She doesn't make a sound, but Lloyd feels the hot warmth of tears as they soak into the arm of his t-shirt. Lloyd bites his lip again, but this time he can't stop the burn of tears that spill over.

It's just them, now. They're all that's left.

Lloyd grips Nya's hand even tighter, drops his head on hers, and cries himself to sleep.

* * *

 **There's about 14k words left of this and I still keep writing for some reason, so yay! More angst to come.**


	2. Chapter 2

**More angst! This is turning into more of an actual story and honestly once season 9 comes out all of it's probably going to be destroyed violently by canon, but I can dream :'(**

* * *

"…all we have left, Misako, they're our best bet…"

"….too soon, they're not…"

"…-madon isn't going to wait around for anyone, we need to move _now_ …"

"…you _know_ what they lost, Ronin, they need _time_ …"

The voices filter in through the warm haze of sleep she's in, muffled at first, but slowly growing clearer as she reluctantly wakes up. Nya cracks her eyes open, then immediately closes them against the sudden, stabbing light, wincing. Shaking off the headache, she carefully opens them again, ever-so-slowly, blinking away the bright spots in her vision as the world comes to focus.

It takes her a moment to recognize where she is. She's on the Walkers' beat-up old couch, half on top of Lloyd, who's still snoring softly where his head is tipped against her shoulder. Lloyd feels like a furnace, radiating heat against her, and she's reluctant to move, content to just stay where she is. She fought Garmadon earlier, if they need a ninja right now they can get Kai or someone-

It hits her like a bucket of ice water, and Nya's stomach drops.

 _Oh_.

She hadn't believed him, at first. When Lloyd had stumbled off the boat, beat-up and off-balance and somehow looking even worse than he had when he'd been dying in Mystaké's shop earlier.

( _Dying_ , she'd been this close to losing him too-)

He'd barely been able to tell her, stammering through the words like he didn't even want to hear what he was saying. Nya had gotten the message though – and immediately rejected it. He couldn't be right – there was no way the words coming out of Lloyd's mouth were anything but true.

But she hadn't been able to ignore the grief-stricken look on Misako's face, the blank emptiness in Lloyd's eyes.

Kai would never have left Lloyd alone like this. Jay, Cole, Zane – they would've come with him. They wouldn't have left Lloyd and Misako to fend for themselves, wouldn't have left Nya waiting in baited breath.

 _Ninja don't last forever._

Kai had said that to her, hadn't he? Sitting in Mystaké's shop, worried to death about their little brother. He'd been right there, right beside her, looking out for them as he always is.

 _(was-)_

Nya flinches away from the thought. It's soon, too soon to put terms in the past – to even think about-

A new voice cuts in the conversation, soft and even – Pixal. Nay feels her heart twist again. Pixal had met up with them just outside of the city, the Samurai X mech dented and sparking. Lloyd had barely been able to look at her, and Misako had spared him having to retell the story again.

Pixal hadn't believed it either, shaking her head emphatically.

"No," she had said. "No, I would know it if he was."

"Pixal-"

"We share the same core," she had said, her voice trembling. "I would have _felt_ it – he's not dead, he's _not_."

They hadn't been able to get much through her after that, all of them too heart-sick to argue the point. Nya gets the feeling Pixal isn't holding on to false hope, though – her voice is too quiet, her posture slumped uncharacteristically, her expression blank. Maybe vocally denying it is her way of dealing with things.

Nya tightens her grip on her blanket, pulling it closer to her. She doesn't _want_ to deal with this. She doesn't want to deal with _anything_. She wants to stay here forever, curled up on the couch with Lloyd and ignoring the rest of the world, the two of them forever out of reach of Harumi and Garmadon. Safe from reality-

The sound of footsteps suddenly draws near, and Nya tilts her head up. Ronin's staring down at her, his normally hard-set eyes softened as his weathered face gives her a wry, sympathetic smile. "Hey, kid," he says, quietly.

"Ronin?" She blinks, moving to get up – then abruptly remembers that Lloyd's still asleep on her. Reluctant to wake him up, she settles back down. "What are you doing here?"

"Eh, some crazy biker gang decided to take over the city," Ronin says. "Had to make sure I didn't have to drag the water ninja out of another disaster."

Despite herself, Nya feels the corners of her mouth lift slightly up, Ronin's familiar banter comforting in its own odd way. "Nah, I got out myself this time," she says. "Gotta pick your battles, you know."

"Smart kid," Ronin says, with a dry grin. He sighs, suddenly looking ages older. "This might be battle we can't outrun though, sweetheart."

Nya looks down, her fingers tightening around her blanket again. "No, I guess not," she says, quietly. She glances up at him. "Are you going to watch from the sidelines again?"

"The destruction of Ninjago is pretty terrible for business," Ronin says, rubbing his chin. "Figured I'd see if I could help you guys speed up the whole 'save the day' thing you always do."

Nya bites the inside of her cheek, a wave of grief sweeping her. "I don't know how well we're gonna do," she says, shakily. "It's down to just us two."

She flicks her gaze to Lloyd, who is somehow still sleeping through the entire exchange. She can't see him as well from her vantage point, but it's enough to know that he looks terrible, the bruise-like shadows beneath his eyes almost matching the bruises that decorate his face shade for shade. She can't look much better herself – they're a pathetic pair on the whole, the two of them.

"Three," Ronin says. Nya's head jerks up, and he gives her a smile that's almost gentle. "I'm not about to stand around and watch two kids try and take Ninjago back on their own."

"Four, actually," Misako says, walking over. "And five, if you count Pixal."

"Five," Pixal says, the tiniest spark of determination in her voice. "There is no question."

Nya stares up at the three off them, desperately trying to keep her eyes from watering. She's saved by Lloyd, who suddenly stirs, finally waking up with a quiet, pained moan.

"Wus'goin'on?" he mumbles, blinking in confusion at the people surrounding him.

Ronin snorts. Misako sighs, watching her son with a gentle, pained sort of look.

"They just pledged themselves to our cause," Nya tells him. She glances at Ronin. "No take backs."

Lloyd looks confused for a minute, obviously trying to figure out what he's doing on the Walker's couch. Nya can pinpoint the second the realization hits, though - the way his expression suddenly crumples, the normal bright spark of life in his eyes flickering out.

"Right," he whispers, his eyes flicking down. He takes an unsteady breath, conscious of everyone's eyes on him. "Um, so – you all really want to go up against my…Garmadon?"

"Obviously," Ronin says.

"Yes," Pixal says, her voice now uncharacteristically venomous. "We have yet to decide a winner in our fight."

She receives four stares.

"Alright then," Ronin finally says, clapping her on the back. Pixal gives him a blank stare that is somehow still heated enough that Nya fears she might remove that hand on the spot. "Someone's got the right attitude."

"Let's hold out on the reckless aggression for now," Misako says. "We don't even know what the situation in the city is, and you two-" she pins Nya and Lloyd with a firm look. "Need to heal up."

She's met with twin protests.

"I'm fine, Mrs. G, really-"

"Mom, I'm good to fight-"

Nya cuts off her own complaint to glare at Lloyd. Pixal, Misako, and Ronin do as well. Lloyd shifts, shrinking under their combined glares.

"I had tea," he says, feebly. "It helped?"

"Yeah," Ronin says. "I'm actually with you, Misako. Let's hold out for now."

* * *

The conversation dwindles after that, Ronin taking Pixal aside to talk about finding transportation. Misako heads outside, murmuring something about checking on the Walkers. After all, they just lost-

Nya bites her lip so hard she almost draws blood.

"Are you okay?" Lloyd asks, his hands stilling where he's inspecting her arm. "I'm not hurting you, am I?"

"No," Nya says, fighting to keep her voice steady. "You're good. How's it look?"

Lloyd's expression scrunches up. Nya's wrist is turning an ugly shade of purple-black, a souvenir from her brief fight with Garmadon. Lloyd gently pulls her arm closer toward him, his fingers prodding the edges of the bruise lightly.

"It doesn't feel broken," he says. She hisses as he hits a particularly sensitive spot, and Lloyd winces. "Sorry, sorry. It should heal up pretty fast, you just need to keep it wrapped."

Lloyd winds the gauze around her wrist, eyebrows furrowed in concentration as he takes care not to hurt her any more than necessary. There's still a subtle tremor in his fingers as he works, and Nya would call him out on it if her own hands weren't shaking so noticeably.

"There you go," he says, as he finishes tying it off. "Does it feel alright?"

Nya tests it, nodding. "Thanks," she says. She glances up, studying the myriad of cuts and bruises that still decorate Lloyd. The worst of them have already been bandaged by Misako, but the skin around his neck is turning an ugly purple-black, the color spreading across his collar bones, where it's obscured by the collar of his t-shirt.

Lloyd notices her gaze, and winces again. "It's not as bad as it looks," he says.

"Uh-huh," Nya says, with thinly veiled disbelief. "Can I check that?"

Lloyd hesitates, but he nods, allowing her to draw closer.

"How does it feel right now? This looks pretty rough," Nya says, tugging on his collar a bit so she can check the bruising that lines his neck and collar bones, her fingers barely skirting his upper chest as she assesses the damage-

Lloyd flinches away so violently he almost topples of the couch. Nya jerks her hands back, her eyes wide as Lloyd gives a sudden, panicked gasp. A flurry of expressions crosses his face before he pulls his mask of calm back up again, obviously trying hard to look as if nothing's happened.

"S-sorry," he mutters, his voice unsteady.

"What was _that_?" Nya asks, concerned. "Did I hurt you? Is something broken? Is-"

"No, no, it's – nothing's hurt," Lloyd says, shaking his head. His face flushes. "It's fine, it's nothing."

"That wasn't _nothing_ -"

"It's nothing," Lloyd says, almost desperately. "Please, Nya, just-"

"Okay, okay," she says, relenting.

Not for the first time, Nya gets a sinking feeling as she wonders _just what_ happened between him and Harumi.

"We've got transportation," Ronin announces as he walks back in with Pixal, before Nya can question Lloyd further. "We won't be sitting ducks when we move, so that's _some_ good news."

"We need to leave as soon as possible," Nya says. "We're putting the Walkers in enough danger as it is. We can't drag them into this."

Lloyd nods in agreement with her, his eyes creasing in concern. They're red now, the same color they were when she met him. It's almost unsettling – she'd grown so used to that bright, electric green that the sudden change throws her off-balance. "If we leave tonight, no one will know we were here," Lloyd says. He bites the inside of his cheek. "I just…have no idea where we'll go from there. The temple is pretty out in the open."

Pixal speaks up, her voice flat and analytic. "It would be strategically wise for us to be back in the city, if possible," she says. "It needs to be somewhere Harumi would not think to look."

"We still have a few hideouts scattered around the city," Lloyd says, pensively. "They're…they're pretty risky, though. We can salvage our vehicles and stuff, but they're too close to the palace to be reliable."

"We should try and get to Mystaké," Nya says. "She helped us before, maybe she can help us now."

"Garmadon knew her, she'll probably be under watch, at the very least," Misako says, heavily. "I doubt we'd find shelter there. She would be a valuable ally, though."

"Great," Ronin says. "One cryptic old lady who's shop is probably under watch. We're off to a fantastic start."

"My parents are still away, so…." Nya trails off, her breath catching. How is she supposed to _tell_ them? And Cole's father, too, how can they tell him that his son is-

"That means they're safe, for now," Misako says, firmly. "We'll deal with that when it comes to it, alright? For now, we just need a place to go."

They fall into a heavy silence, the disheartening sound of everyone drawing blanks. Nya can't help but think that if the others were here, they'd be tossing around ideas like it was a game, Kai with outrageously risky solutions and Zane with-

"I will scan to see if any of our bases are still operational," Pixal says, standing abruptly. "That should give us a start, at least."

She's gone before any of them can even blink, the screen door swinging closed with a loud creaking of hinges behind her. Lloyd gives a shaky exhale, and Nya closes her eyes briefly.

She _wants_ to comfort Pixal. She does. But how is she supposed to even begin to ease Pixal's pain when her own heart is actively ripping itself to shreds? Besides, aside from the occasional burst of anger, Pixal has all but shut down emotionally. Nya doubts she'd be able to get through to her one way or another.

She should try, though. It's the least she can do for Zane, now that-

Nya swallows.

"I'll see if I have any storehouses left near the city," Ronin finally says, breaking the quiet. "If anyone else has any ideas, speak up."

Nya glances over to Lloyd, who's staring at the table. If she's being honest - deep down, truly honest with herself - she doesn't want to go back. She wants to run - run away from Ninjago City, from the Sons of Garmadon, from the memories - just _get away_ from it all, run to her parents' arms and cry herself senseless.

But she can't. She can't abandon her city like that - she can't abandon her people. That's not the kind of life she's chosen for herself. She could never live with herself if she did, and Kai would never forgive-

It doesn't matter. Nya is going to see this through.

At the very least, bringing Harumi to an end will help her feel the slightest bit better.

* * *

Lloyd doesn't have a lot of memories between crashing through the prison wall and waking up in Mystaké's shop. Most of them are muffled, shadowy impressions colored with intense pain - he prefers not to think about those.

He does, however, have a brief snatch of memory of staring up at the night sky, barely able to pick out Ninjago's stars through his blurring vision. He can't remember what point that was at - if he'd just crashed through the walls, or if he was closer to being found by the ninja.

(It was a long night).

He does, however, remember quite clearly thinking that he was going to die. It had hurt - worse than the time he'd broken his ankle, worse than the battle with Chen, worse than Morro. But compared to where he'd been mentally - the last horrible, grating words his father had ever said to him echoing through his head on repeat - the physical pain was nothing.

Okay, so it wasn't exactly _nothing_ , he's _still_ hurting from it, but the comparison stands.

The point is, Lloyd had been absolutely, ninety-nine percent positively sure he was going to die out there. He'd been _ready_ for it.

So having to carry on _now_ , after everything that's happened…it's a little jarring.

Lloyd exhales, shifting his position where he's sitting on the small hill of scrap metal in the Walker's junkyard. It's not the most comfortable place in the world, but he needs to get away from people for a minute, and he can't stand being inside the house anymore. So this works.

He glances down, Nya's spare katana glinting at him from his lap where he'd been sharpening it. He'd prefer his own, but that's out of reach for obvious reasons, and he needs to have _some_ way to keep himself alive. Since his powers are-

Lloyd flinches, pushing the thought away. He shifts positions again, wincing as his shoulders twinge angrily. He's had to be careful with that area - it feels a little like several angry, vicious trucks hit him repeatedly, and then ran back over him once or twice for good measure. Trying to alleviate the ache, Lloyd stretches his arms over his head – and immediately pulls them back down, hissing at the flares of pain that run up and down his back. Ow, ow, _ow_ -

Mystaké's tea may have saved him from death, but it took its liberty in skipping over everything else wrong with him.

Not that he's complaining, or anything. He's lucky to be alive.

 _(Even if it doesn't feel lucky right now-)_

Lloyd shakes the thought off, looking up from the katana to the skyline, the setting sun casting the world in a fiery red. The blinding light leaves his eyes watering, flickering dark spots appearing in his vision. He closes his eyes, letting the warmth from the sun wash over him, the light winds sending his lengthened hair whipping around his face. One second. For just one second, he can pretend that everything's okay, that if he opens his eyes everyone will be-

The sun drops below the horizon, taking the warmth with it. The sky grows dusky, the chilly night air beginning to set in, and Lloyd shivers.

He finally stands up, skidding down the pile of loose parts with a clinking of metal. He starts back for the trailer, carefully pacing his steps – if he tries hard enough, he can almost convince himself that he doesn't need to limp.

They haven't figured out where they're going yet, but it doesn't hurt to be ready, and wearing something slightly more battle-ready would probably be a good idea. He's currently dressed in a loose t-shirt and sweatpants the Walkers were kind enough to lend him, the fabric soft and comfortable in a way worn clothes are-

It suddenly hits Lloyd that the clothes he's wearing are probably Jay's.

….were, they _were_ Jay's.

A wave of nausea hits him, and he walks faster, stepping into the trailer and snatching for his own clothes were they're folded neatly on top of the laundry machine. Ducking back into a spare rooms, Lloyd drops his gi on the bed, taking small comfort in the lack of the bloodstains he'd left-

Lloyd's hands still over the robes. The bright green stares back at him, the color as familiar to him as the back of his hand.

He remembers the first time he'd donned the green gi clearly, the uniform too-large as he'd struggled to find a way to save his friends. It had given him confidence, then - a sense of belonging, a reminder that he was part of something now, that he was destined to _be_ someone.

Now, the thought of putting it on makes him sick. He struggles to remember Mystaké's words to him, but they won't come back, stuck under the crushing reminder that he's _powerless_ now. How is he supposed to be the green ninja when he can't even live up to the part? His _eyes_ aren't even green anymore, he's left with the eerie red that marks him as Garmadon's son-

 _I have no son._

Lloyd's breath stutters out of him. He's not the green ninja anymore. He's not the son of Garmadon, either.

Where does that leave him? A lost little kid hanging from a street sign in Jamanakai village?

Lloyd drops the gi back on the bed. Maybe he can borrow something from Ronin.

He sighs, sagging against the bedside and burying his head in his hands. He'd told Harumi he was going to keep fighting, and he _is_. He fully intends to fight back against her with everything he has, it's just-

It's a lot. The last few days – _has it even been that long?_ – have been more than Lloyd ever imagined he'd need to deal with. And that's not even starting on the stuff he won't allow himself to think about.

Plan. They need a plan, they need to keep moving – they need to find somewhere to go. They can't jeopardize the Walker's safety anymore. Garmadon may not care whether he's alive or dead anymore, but Harumi does – Lloyd's going to have an enormous target on his back. No one's going to want to take that risk. No one's going to want to shelter the son of the person conquering Ninjago, and no one's going to understand what that's _like-_

Lloyd pauses. Well, actually – he doesn't _want_ to pull her in, especially because – well, because, but she _is_ reliable-

"Hey," he says, startling his mother and the Walkers as he slides into the living room. "I think I've got an idea of where we can go."


	3. Chapter 3

**Skylor finally makes an appearance! This chapter is slightly less angsty than the last few, let's see how long that lasts.**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who's left a review on this story, you guys are the best!**

* * *

The noodle shop is unusually dark when Lloyd finally reaches it, slipping down from the rooftops when the street is clear. Skylor's shop is in a part of town spared from the worst of the destruction, but it's obvious she hasn't been left alone - or if she has, she's taking precautions. The neon-lit sign is dark and the windows are boarded up, though Lloyd can see bright lights and hear the sounds of life through the cracks. From what Lloyd has gathered from people, she's been giving away whatever food she has, offering up the restaurant as a shelter to those who have lost their homes.

The apartment above the restaurant, though, still belongs solely to her. Lloyd just hopes she doesn't punch him in the face for breaking in.

She doesn't. In fact, it looks as if she's been expecting him, her expression only slightly surprised when he climbs through her window, after knocking quietly to warn her. The first thing she does is immediately cross over to him, pulling him into an embrace so tight Lloyd feels his ribs creak.

"Lloyd, I...I heard what happened," Skylor says, her voice heavy as she pulls back. She looks as pretty as she always does, her bright red hair twisted into her signature ponytail, but her eyes are slightly puffy, as if she's been crying a lot recently (Lloyd would know).

"I saw – I saw it," she continues, her voice hitching as she suddenly pulls him back into another hug. "I'm so sorry."

Lloyd's heart twists at the pain in her voice as he returns her embrace, clinging tightly to her, but he can't help but be thankful that he doesn't have to explain to yet another person what Garmadon did. Skylor finally releases him for good, giving him just enough time to compose his expression.

"We're going to fight back," he tells her, after taking a breath. "Nya and Pixal and I - a few others, too, but we – we don't really have anywhere to stay, and we-"

"Of course," Skylor says, without even needing to hear the question. "Downstairs is pretty crowded, but I should have enough room up here to fit you guys. The shop's not the best place for a secret base, but…it's worked. Just let me know what you need me to do."

Lloyd has to blink rapidly against the burning in his eyes at that. Skylor sounds determined, strong and steady.

And like she actually _trusts_ him-

"Thank you," he says, as if he can convey what this means with two pathetic words.

Skylor gives him a half-smile. "Of course," she says, tapping him gently in the arm. "Anything for a friend."

Lloyd tries to return her smile, but it feels like he fails miserably. Something suddenly occurs to him.

"You said you saw - are you okay?" he asks, worried. "You weren't anywhere near that - that thing, were you?"

"I'm fine," Skylor says, reassuringly. "I was pretty sheltered when everything went down." Her eyebrows crease in concern. "How are _you_ doing? I can't imagine-"

"I'm fine," Lloyd says, abruptly. "I'm just - I'm staying on track. I need to fix this, so-"

Skylor's hand circles around his arm, gentle but firm. Lloyd meets her gaze, and he's thrown to see tears glimmering in her eyes.

"I loved him too, Lloyd," she breathes, her voice shaky. "I get it."

Lloyd's heart constricts, and he feels the burning sensation in his eyes intensify. _I'm sorry,_ he wants to wail. _I'm so sorry, it's all my fault, it's my fault you lost him-_

"Come on," Skylor says, still holding his arm as she pulls him downstairs. "I'll introduce you to everyone."

* * *

Getting 'introduced to everyone' ends up being more like 'getting roped into serving food while Skylor's harried-looking staff barely give him a second glance', but Lloyd doesn't mind. The restaurant is full and active, people from all walks of life crammed into every corner - the offer of shelter and free food is a hard one to pass up. They need all the help they can get, and Lloyd gets to be useful for once, so that's - that's nice.

He eventually finds himself beside Skylor again, who has yet to let him out of her sight, filling up the familiar red and gold take-out boxes with food for people and handing them off to servers. A dark-haired woman walks up, her forehead creased as she addresses Skylor. "I'm sorry, but I have to go - the rest of my family is still at home, and I…"

"Don't worry about it, Lloyd can cover for you once he's done here. Go ahead and go," Skylor says, with a tilt of her head at him. Lloyd shrugs in compliance, sealing up the box he's working on and handing it off to the woman.

The woman glances at him as she reaches for it, opening her mouth - then abruptly does a double-take. Her expression softens, and she gives him a pitying look, taking the box from him with extra gentleness. She gives him one last sympathetic look before walking away, handing the box off to a young boy who's staring at Lloyd like he's a ghost.

Lloyd frowns, confused. She's not the first person to give him a look like that tonight. Everywhere he goes, he seems to be getting odd looks like that, ones of affected pity. It could be that his father is the city's new tyrannical…dictator, or whatever he is, but it's still a little strange-

"The TV was on in the shop the other night," Skylor says, quietly.

It takes Lloyd a minute to figure out why that's important, but when he does, his stomach drops.

 _Oh. Oh no._

"Guess you saw the show, then," he says, his voice tight. There are hundreds, thousands of TV's on display in Ninjago. _Every_ one of these people probably saw it.

He hadn't been _surprised_ , per say, to find out that Harumi would pull something like broadcasting the complete shattering of his soul along with the better part of his body to all of Ninjago – after everything else she's done to him, it's hardly out of character.

That doesn't mean he's anywhere remotely near _okay_ with it.

"I cut the power," Skylor says, cutting through his brief flare of panic.

Lloyd stills. Once again, he feels an overwhelming rush of gratitude for Skylor. No wonder Kai-

"Thank you," he says, swallowing. "That – means a lot."

Skylor gives him a gentle nudge. "They like to think they're looking out for you, that's all," she says, quietly. "After everything you've done for them, the city kind of sees you as their own, you know?"

Lloyd doesn't know – he's the one who failed the city. He's the reason all these people are living in terror right now, why half their homes are destroyed. They should _hate_ him.

But he just swallows and nods, filling boxes with an almost manic sort of concentration. Work like this can be mind-numbing, which is something Lloyd would really, really like right now.

He helps Skylor fill the rest of the boxes with food and then makes his way into the crowds of people, making sure the hood of his jacket is securely up and carefully keeping his head down as he hands people the boxes. Aside from murmured thanks, he's not acknowledged much, everyone either too shaken, too scared, or too busy clinging to their families, looking lost and haunted.

Lloyd feels his throat close up. All these people are here because he lost. They're like this because of _him_.

He blinks furiously as he stops at the next table, where a woman is sitting with a little girl by her side, talking in a hushed voice to the man across her. He carefully sets a box in front of them, the woman barely pausing to nod at him in thanks.

Before Lloyd can leave, the girl, who can't be older than eight, squints up at him, her eyes suddenly widening. "You're the ninja!" she gasps. "The green one! You're _alive!_ "

"Um - yeah," Lloyd says, internally flailing. "I'm, uh, breathing, and everything, so-"

"I thought you were _dead_ ," she says, her tiny face going somber. "You went through all those walls-"

" _Mei!_ " her mother hisses in horror, her hand flying over her daughter's mouth. She looks up at Lloyd, mortified. "I'm _so_ sorry, she was watching on the TV and she won't stop talking about it-"

Lloyd shakes his head, trying to fight back the rising wave of panic on his gut, the dizzying anxiety threatening to strangle him.

"It's fine," he gets out, mentally begging the little girl not to say anything else, not to talk about it, to _please stop talking about it-_

"I have something for you!" the girl says, squirming out of her mother's hold and wrestling something from her jacket pocket. "Here," she says, proudly handing out a neon pink band-aid. "These are my favorite kind, they always make me feel better." She pauses, frowning up at him. "I guess I should'a grabbed a lot more, though…"

"Mei," her mother says weakly, but Lloyd leans forward, taking the band-aid from her with slightly shaky fingers.

"Thanks," he says, giving her a tremulous smile as he pulls the band-aid loose, sticking it over one of the purple-black bruises on his exposed wrist. "Feels better already."

The girl grins brightly at him. "I told you so," she says. "See, mom? They always help."

"That's - that's nice, Mei," her mother says, before glancing up at Lloyd. Her expression softens. "Thank you," she says, quietly. "She's a big fan, that means a lot."

"Of course," Lloyd says, hoping his smile isn't as weak as he feels. He needs to get out of here _now_ , this was a mistake-

"What happened…" the woman shakes her head. "She's _not_ our princess. We're behind you, all of us."

Lloyd remembers Skylor's words, about the city looking out for him. He swallows.

"Thank you," he says, his voice almost a whisper. The woman gives him a gentle smile, and the girl waves cheerily at him as he slips away, his heart beating painfully in his chest. He glances down at the bright pink strip on his wrist, pausing. He misses the days _he_ believed that band-aids could fix everything. It can't have been _that_ long ago that he was that young, but it feels like an eternity-

He's yanked from his thoughts as the door rattles, sending everyone in the shop into a tense silence. Lloyd immediately relaxes as Nya and Misako walk in, followed closely by one of Skylor's employees, who bolts the door behind him.

Skylor darts forward, immediately embracing Nya tightly. Nya clings to her almost desperately, her expression screwing up, and Lloyd looks away, swallowing.

"Hey, mom," he says, as Misako embraces him. "Any luck with Mistaké?"

"Nothing," his mother says, her expression downcast. "The shop was dark when we got there, and there were too many of those bikers on the streets to get any closer."

Lloyd looks down, deflating. "We can try again later," he says, taking a breath and looking back up at his mother. "I'm sure she's fine, mom."

"It's not _her_ I'm most worried about," Misako says, her eyes creasing further. Lloyd shifts awkwardly, and Nya and Skylor break apart, joining them before he has to come up with a reply.

Skylor steps toward Misako, addressing her. "I heard about everything, I'm so glad you're alright."

"We're better off now, thank to you," she says, smiling at Skylor. "And thank you for letting your friend know about us."

"Oh, yeah," Skylor says, as if suddenly remembering her employee. She motions to the dark-haired man that led them in, pulling him over to the group. "Lloyd, this is Dario, he's solid - Dario, you know him, this is the green ninja," Skylor says. "Lloyd Garmadon."

Lloyd stiffens.

 _I have no son._

"Just Lloyd, actually," he says, quietly. Misako goes still, and Skylor's eyebrows shoot up.

Dario looks between them, as if sensing the suddenly awkward air. "Uh, nice to meet you…?"

"Here, I need your help in the kitchen," Skylor says, grabbing his arm and pulling him away from Lloyd and Misako, mercifully ending _that_ exchange. Unfortunately, this leaves Lloyd alone with his mother, who doesn't exactly look thrilled with him right now.

"Lloyd, you can't throw away your family name like that," she says, staring hard at him. "I know it's hard, but you can't just-"

"I'm not _throwing away_ anything," Lloyd says, agitated. "I just – I'm giving it a break, okay, mom? I doubt anyone's gonna be happy with the reminder that the person trying to help them is the son of the person that's tearing their city apart."

"Son-"

"Hey, Lloyd, can I borrow you for a minute?" Skylor suddenly reappears, grabbing Lloyd's arm before Misako can get a word in edgewise. "Thanks, we'll be right back," she says, flashing her a smile.

Skylor drags Lloyd through the crowds and back upstairs, pulling him through her jarringly quiet apartment and out onto the little balcony overlooking the streets. She finally lets him go, stretching her arms over her head before leaning against the rusty old railing, releasing a pent-up breath as she stares out over the streets.

Lloyd joins her after a second, leaning carefully against the railing next to her and saying nothing.

"You know," Skylor says, breaking the silence. "It's okay to be angry at him."

Lloyd glances at her, and she shifts. "I mean, I get that – that it's not really your father in there, Nya was telling me about it. So it's not _really_ his fault, but-" she pauses, her cheeks puffing up as she blows a breath out, tense.

"I hated my father," she says, her voice bitter. "I mean, I loved him, because he was my father, but he used me. Used me to hurt the people I cared about, to attack Ninjago. And he hurt me. It wasn't the same situation as you, not by a long shot, but…"

Lloyd says nothing, wrapping his arms around himself, his fingers clenching tightly into the skin of his arm.

"The staff – you know, the one that took all your elements – it had something to do with it. I watched as it took everything that was good about him left and twisted it, little by little, until he was someone I didn't even recognize anymore." Skylor looks out over the skyline, blinking rapidly. "And I just…I remember thinking, asking myself, why _I_ wasn't enough. Why I couldn't keep him with me, why I wasn't enough for him to resist it."

Lloyd blinks rapidly against the burning in his own eyes, his lips pressed tightly together and his fingers digging so tightly into his arm that he's going to have bruises.

"It _sucked_ ," Skylor says, her voice watery as she gives a bitter, rueful laugh. "Sorry, this – probably isn't helping any. I just…" she shakes her head, looking up at the sky, moisture sparkling at the edges of her eyes. "He was the first one to really see me, you know, back at the island. He – he would know how to deal with this. What to say."

Lloyd doesn't have to ask to know who she's talking about. He doesn't want to, because hearing his name right now will break his composure, which is barely held together as it is.

"You're not alone, okay?" she finally says, her voice steadier. "Just, remember that. If you ever want to talk – or if you never do – you're not alone."

Lloyd glances over at her, and his heart drops as he sees tears spilling over from her eyes, leaving sparkling trails down her cheeks. Skylor doesn't even acknowledge them, her expression unchanging as the tears drip down onto her shirt collar, leaving tiny little splotches.

Lloyd is frozen, unsure of what to do - comfort her, he should comfort her, he should say something, but how can he say something when this is _all his fault_ -

"Skylor?" Lloyd's voice comes out a cracked whisper. "Thank you."

She takes a shaky breath, her eyes still on the city skyline as she wraps a hand around his arm, squeezing lightly in a comforting gesture.

"It's okay," she says, with a tremor in her voice. "We'll be okay."

She sounds like she doesn't believe herself. Lloyd doesn't, either, but he appreciates the sentiment.

* * *

"Huh, this is actually a pretty nice place," Ronin says, as he surveys Skylor's apartment from where they're crammed around her kitchenette table. "It looks a lot nicer than the outside."

"Hey, don't hate on it," Skylor says, shooting him a glare as she emerges from the stairwell. "Or I'll charge you double next time you come in."

"What, I don't qualify for the 'Ninjago is in ruins' evil-takeover discount?" Ronin says.

"Is that a thing?" Lloyd says, through a mouthful of noodles.

"It is for _some_ people," Skylor says, as she sets a giant paper bag on the table. She pulls out several of the shop's takeout boxes, passing the food to those who aren't eating already. She snatches Ronin's away before he can grab it, giving him a look.

"Fine, fine, your apartment is a work of art," Ronin grumbles, and Skylor hands him the box.

"Thanks, Skylor," Nya says, her stomach growling as she opens her box. Food hasn't even crossed her mind in the past few days, and it's just now hitting her how long it's been since she's properly eaten.

Skylor waves off her thanks, pushing another box of food on Lloyd, who immediately starts devouring that as well, barely even pausing to inhale. _Good_ , Nya thinks - he's thin enough as it is.

"So," Skylor says, taking a seat at the table with them. "Not that I'm _not_ totally open to starting up a secret rebellion in my apartment, but do we have a plan of any kind?"

"Blow up Harumi," Lloyd mutters, stabbing at his food darkly.

"That's…not really an effective plan," Misako says, eyeing her son in concern.

"I disagree," Lloyd says, through another mouthful of noodles. "Harumi will be dead."

"He's got a point," Nya says.

"FSM help us," Ronin mutters, rubbing his temples wearily.

"Alright, let's talk about an _actual_ plan," Misako sighs. "What do we know about the situation here in the city?"

"As far as I've seen, Harumi's the main one running the show," Skylor says. "Garmadon's a major player, but he's still on a leash."

"I thought so," Misako says. "Lloyd, you said he…" she hesitates.

Lloyd stiffens, obviously thinking back to memories he'd prefer not to relive. "There's… _something_ in there with rational thought," he says, his voice eerily blank. "But he only seems to listen to Harumi, yeah."

"Huh," Ronin says. "So blowing up Harumi actually _isn't_ that bad a plan."

"What about the people?" Nya asks, ignoring that one.

"So far, the majority of the citizens have been left alone," Pixal speaks up, the only one of them not to have taken food. "The few that have visibly protested Harumi's reign have been attacked or apprehended, but most of the citizens who are complying, or at least staying quiet, are safe."

"Pixal's right," Skylor chimes in. "The streets are running wild with Sons of Garmadon, but if you keep to yourself and stay inside, no one bothers you much. Of course, half the city is destroyed, so not everyone can do that," she finishes, bitterly.

"We're working on a way to help them out," Lloyd says. "If we can get them safely out of the city, we can see if other villages will shelter them."

"Oh yeah - then there's the matter of the other villages," Skylor says. "We don't know how far the Sons of Garmadon's reach goes, but I know some villages are pledging themselves to Garmadon out of sheer terror."

"Can't blame them," Ronin mutters. "That stone giant could wipe them out in minutes."

"Right now, our biggest priority is the actual city - we stop them here, we free the other villages," Misako says, looking up from Skylor's laptop, where Pixal has been downloading information. "Obviously, our biggest worry is that giant Colossi walking around, but the Sons of Garmadon pose a large threat as well. There's a lot more of them than we'd thought, so they're going to be spread pretty far over the city. Our priority is keeping the people safe, so we need to keep a constant eye on the Sons of Garmadon in case they attack any more innocent people."

"Okay, we have _got_ to come up with a better name for them," Skylor says, rubbing her temples. "The 'Sons of Garmadon' is too much of a mouthful to keep saying over and over again."

"Just call 'em by their initials, then," Ronin says. "Problem solved."

"You mean like the letters, as in the _ess-oh-gee's_?" Skylor says. "Or like a word, as in the _sogs_ – ugh, that doesn't work out well."

"I vote the SOG's, as in a word," Lloyd says. "It sounds dumb."

"Why is _that_ your reasoning?" Ronin asks.

" _They're_ dumb," he says, simply.

"I'm working with _children_ ," Ronin sighs.

"And this is new?" Nya says, kicking him under the table.

" _Names_ aside," Misako cuts in, sounding strained. "We will need a plan for dealing with them, as well as the Colossi, eventually."

"There is considerable weaponry left in some of the old bases," Pixal says. "Not all of it is up to date, but it is a start."

"And I can build us something with whatever else is left," Nya says. "Maybe with enough firepower to make a dent in that thing."

"I will help you," Pixal says. "If we combine our knowledge, we will have a better chance."

"Build multiple weapons, then," Ronin says. "It's better if we're all prepared."

"How many guns do you _need_ , anyways," Nya says, under her breath. Ronin winks at her.

"In the meantime, we can at least patrol the city as usual, and see if there are any citizens that need help," Lloyd says.

"That'll be risky, kid," Ronin says his forehead creasing. "Are you sure you're up to that? You know, with…" he gestures vaguely at Lloyd. "Your, uh, powers…and all." The others glance at Lloyd in concern at Ronin's point, Nya biting her lip.

Lloyd's fists tighten, his expression turning irritated. "I'm not a ninja for nothing, you know," he says, his voice strained. "Just because my powers don't work, that doesn't mean I can't _fight_."

"What happens if you run into Harumi?" Nya asks, thinking of the Oni mask.

"Or your father," Skylor adds, quietly.

"I've got two fists," Lloyd snaps, hotly. "I'll figure something out."

He's met with blank stares, and he deflates the slightest bit. "I'll get another sword," he says, dully.

"I'll make you a gun," Nya says, trying to inject some positivity into her voice. "A really powerful one."

"Thanks," Lloyd mutters.


	4. Chapter 4

**Last chapter before the heavy angst (and the main reason I wrote this story) starts to kick in, mwahaha. Again, thank you so much to everyone who's taken the time to review this story, it means a lot and keeps me going!**

* * *

Nya is standing on the deck of the _Bounty_ , her eyes half-closed as the wind rushes through her lengthening hair, enjoying the softening light of the sunset on her skin. She feels exhausted, but in a good way - the kind of loose, bone-tired that lets you know you've done really good job this time, that you've beaten your enemies so sorely they'll be feeling it for months.

She sighs, closing her eyes fully. Behind her, she can hear the sounds of the others making dinner (or trying to, they're not making much progress from the sound of it). Zane is lecturing Cole on the benefits of _this_ spice and the risks of using _that_ spice, and Kai's half-annoyed, half-amused yelp mingles with Lloyd's wild laughter from somewhere inside. She can't help but smile at the voices of her family, carefree and relaxed for once. The only one that's missing is-

"Thought I'd find you out here."

Nya's smile widens as she hears Jay step up beside her, but she keeps her eyes closed, humming at him in acknowledgment. She feels Jay's fingers lace through her own as he leans up against the rail beside her, the band-aid around his index finger rough between her own.

"Did you forget to wear gloves again?" she asks, amused, as her fingers linger on the bandage.

"Huh? Oh, no," Jay says, and she can feel his sheepish smile. "Cole and I were sparring, and I nicked it on my own weapon." Nya giggles, and Jay elbows her. "It bled a lot, okay? I didn't wanna get blood all over your hands, this is all a noble sacrifice for you-"

"Alright, alright," Nya says shaking her head as she turns to him, finally opening her eyes. Jay's dark eyes are lit by the setting sun, and she can see tiny flecks of gold and red sparkling in them, along with the evident love he's looking at her with. She crosses her other hand over, joining both their hands as she leans in, bumping her forehead against his.

"You know something funny?" he says, with the quirky little smile she loves. "I love you."

A smile breaks out across Nya's lips, and she leans in closer, opening her mouth to reply.

"I lo-"

She wakes up.

Nya stares at a cracked ceiling, blinking. Her cheeks are soaked, tears still pouring from her eyes even as she stares up in confusion. The sunlit deck of the _Bounty_ is gone, along with the warmth of the sun and Jay's hands. Instead, there's a rough blanket over her that's barely holding off the mild chill, and the surface she's lying on is soft but lumpy.

It takes her a moment to remember that she's on Skylor's pull-out bed. It takes her another moment to remember why, and when she does-

Nya shoots up, her hand flying over her mouth to muffle the sudden sob that comes out. Oh, oh gods, it had felt so _real_ -

With a shuddery breath, Nya forces back the sobs and pulls herself together, pushing the wave of memories and emotions solidly to the back of her mind, desperately focusing on Skylor's steady breathing where she's on the couch across from her. Her hands shake as she pulls aside the blanket, setting her legs unsteadily on the floor. She braces her elbows on her knees, rubbing tiredly at her eyes, carefully to wipe away the remaining moisture. A quick glance at the glowing letters of the clock on Skylor's table lets her know that it's three in the morning.

Nya exhales, weary and drawn-out. A blank sort of numbness is settling in over her heart, spreading through her veins to the rest of her. If she can just hold on to that, maybe she can push back everything long enough to fall asleep-

A shrill, heart-wrenching scream suddenly echoes through the apartment, the sharp sound nearly stopping Nya's heart as she jumps. She's on her feet immediately, sprinting past a slowly-awakening Skylor and skidding into the living room. The screaming has already cut off, harsh and strangled, but she knows that voice well enough to know who to go to.

She makes it to the couch in the living room before anyone else, she eyes briefly flickign around in panic before she spots him, sliding to her knees. Lloyd is curled up against the couch on the floor, his knees pulled up to his chest and his face buried in his hands. He's shaking violently, his breathing short and panicked, like he can't get enough air.

"Lloyd," she says, her voice as soft and calm as she can manage. She's longing to grab him, to pull him into her arms and comfort him and make him _stop_ that awful gasping, but she knows that touching him right now can make it worse. _Anything_ she does can make it worse, where is Kai when you need-

"L-Lloyd," she says again, her voice stuttering briefly. "It's okay, Lloyd, please just - it's me, Nya, please look at me-"

Lloyd gives a strangled, heaving gasp, but he lifts his head up, his sweat-soaked hair hanging in a wild mess over his forehead, his eyes bloodshot and wild as they meet hers.

"Nya," he whispers, staring at her like she's a ghost. "I - he - you were - he was-"

He breaks off, burying his head in his arms again, and this time Nya can't stop herself, her arms coming up around him and pulling him to her tightly. Lloyd goes rigid in her arms for a beat before relaxing, going limp against her as his breathing slowly, shakily evens out. He gingerly brings his arm up around her, awkward at the angle she's got him squished against her in, but he manages to cling to her tightly nonetheless.

They sit there like that for a beat, Lloyd's shuddering breathes subsiding slowly as Nya's own breathing grows calmer, her heart rate easing back to normal. The only sounds are the tick of Skylor's kitchen clock and the occasional creaking from downstairs, along with the slowing sound of Lloyd's breathing. And a sudden creak from the floorboards behind her-

Nya blinks. She's suddenly painfully conscious of the number of people in the room with them, staring.

Lloyd seems to realize it the moment she does, because he abruptly pulls back, looking mortified as he stares up the others. "I - I woke you all up, I'm so sor-"

"Don't you even think about finishing that," Skylor says, firmly, but her knuckles are white where her hands are clenched around her pillow. Nya's somewhat accustomed to waking up to screaming nightmares from her roommates - it's an unspoken part of the job they do - but it has to be terrifying at the _least_ for others.

Lloyd looks down, the pale color in his face slowly giving way to a red flush, and Nya shifts, avoiding the searching glance she knows Ronin is giving her.

"It's fine," Skylor continues, looking a bit calmer. "What's important is that you're okay. Everyone's going back to bed now, alright?"

She pins Ronin with a hard look, and he puts his hands in the air. "I was gonna say that same thing," he says, evenly. "I was just out here to grab a drink, I don't know about you guys."

Misako sighs, crossing over to them and bending down next to her son, setting a gentle hand on his shoulder. "Do you need anything?" she asks him, softly. Lloyd shakes his head, but he moves his other hand to rest on hers, squeezing briefly. Misako gives him a gentle look before turning to Nya, her eyes shining as she mouths _thank you_. Nya nods, loosening her embrace on Lloyd slightly as Skylor and Ronin head back to their respective rooms. Misako kisses Lloyd briefly on the forehead before standing up again, heading back to the only real bedroom in the house.

Pixal regards them briefly, her eyes narrowing in a familiar motion Nya recognizes as her scanning their vitals. She finally seems to relax a bit, blinking and pulling back. She meets Nya's gaze, and she almost thinks she catches a flash of emotion in Pixal's bright green eyes before she turns away, her footsteps silent as she leaves them alone.

"I wish I knew what to say to her," Lloyd says suddenly, his voice raw and quiet. "I wish there was something…" he trails off.

"We'll…we'll figure something out," Nya says, nudging his shoulder as she moves to sit next to him, setting her back against the couch. "We just…she needs time, that's all."

"Yeah," Lloyd says, with a bitter, almost-laugh. "We all need time."

 _But how much?_ is the unspoken question on his voice. How long is it going to take for any of them to feel something other than…than _this_ , again? Nya can't imagine it taking any less time than an eternity. The idea of _ever_ feeling differently about...about _everything_ , is impossible to imagine.

(She has hope that she's wrong, but not much.)

"We should get back to sleep," Nya finally says, breaking the heavy silence. "We're going out tomorrow."

"Yeah," Lloyd says. "Sleep would be good."

Neither of them move, remaining where they're sitting side by side on the floor, staring blankly forward at Skylor's wallpaper. The clock ticks monotonously, lulling Nya into a fuzzy, vague sort of calm, and despite her best attempts, she's drifting off before she knows it. The last thing she remembers is the sudden weight of Lloyd's head on her shoulder, and the sound of quiet footsteps as someone who smells like smoke pulls Lloyd's discarded blanket over them, before leaving them to sleep in peace.

She doesn't dream this time.

* * *

Morning comes too quickly for Lloyd - his eyes sting and his head aches from lack of sleep, even with the few hours he managed to get last night. But at least being awake means he gets a reprieve from the nightly _Garmadon-throws-Lloyd-through-a-wall-again_ show that's always cycling on repeat. He'd complain about the lack of variety, but the last time he did that, he got his wish and watched Harumi stab Kai while standing over everyone else's dead bodies, so….lesser of two evils, and all.

Lloyd shudders. _Focus on something else, focus on something else,_ he chants to himself, glaring at the map of Ninjago City in front of him. He's been marking off all their bases, new and old, so Skylor and the others can find them when they go looking. He's had to draw several large _X's_ through locations where Pixal reported the SOG activity to be too dangerous, but for the most part, it looks like they may actually salvage quite a bit.

He knows Nya's holding out for her motorcycle and the old Samurai X mech. He doesn't really have hope for anything in particular, as his Nigthtcrawler is still in the desert near Kryptarium prison, because he drove it out there for-

It - it doesn't really matter. The point is, his vehicle is well out of reach and there's nothing else he really wants - unless there's something in one of the bases that can miraculously jumpstart his powers.

He winces. So much for not thinking about forbidden topics.

The loss of his powers isn't…the worst thing to happen to them, not by a long shot. And he shouldn't be complaining - really, he's being selfish and childish for even _thinking_ about it. Nya had told him, back at Mystaké's shop, that the others had risked losing their own powers to heal him - had put it all on the line for _him_. After that, he can't possibly complain about losing his own in exchange. He'd much rather lose his powers than have Nya lose hers, just to save his stupid life.

But it just…

It feels cold. There's an empty, gaping hole in his chest where the warm glow of his power used to sit. It dizzies him, the loss of it. He'd gotten used to constantly using that power in his time as a ninja, but he hadn't realized just how _much_ of a presence it had been, even before that. The warm core that's always been inside of him, the burning determination that had gotten him through Darkley's, that had pushed him to survive, that had been bright by his side ever since he faced the Overlord – it's gone. Cold and dark and _dead_ , like part of his very soul's been leeched away.

It _hurts_.

Lloyd runs a hand through his hair with a sigh, tangling his fingers in the knots and pulling. His hair is longer, he notes absently – it was already pretty long when the first of the SOG had cropped up, but now it's almost getting ridiculous. It's long enough that he could probably pull it into a ponytail at this point, if he wanted. He almost snorts, thinking of what Kai would say if he saw-

Lloyd flinches away from the thought.

There's a clatter from the room over, and Nya's voice raises briefly, complaining about _half-rate wrenches_ and _stupid wires._ Pixal's voice cuts through her grumbling, smooth and even as she starts explaining something about internal wiring - nothing Lloyd will ever hope to understand, but there's a few terms he recognizes, years of bothering Nya while she works and listening to Ja-

Lloyd wonders if they're working on that gun Nya was talking about, the one they want to use to bring down the Colossi. When she described it, it sounded a lot more like a canon-missile-fusion from _Starfarer_ or something, but if it does the job, Lloyd's more than open to it. It's not like he's going to be any help there any time soon.

Lloyd blows out a pent-up breath. Despite his best attempts to ignore it, the voice in the back of his head chanting _useless, useless_ at him is getting stronger.

Mostly because it's…pretty correct. His body is _barely_ recovering, his movements in training harsh and halting, the easy grace he'd always maintained before laughably gone. He hesitates over decisions, the confidence he's always had when leading replaced by a crippling haze of doubt. He can't sleep much on his best nights, he's still flinching at _Nya's_ touch, and the only thing that ever made him worth anything is _gone_ -

The pen slips from his fingers, clattering against the map and yanking him back to the present. He blinks, taking a shuddering breath.

 _Stop being so self-centered_ , he thinks, angrily at himself. He doesn't have time for this - to be a self-pitying idiot. Not while everyone else is suffering just as much - or worse - than he is. Not when Ninjago is still in danger. Not when there's still a fight to be had.

He has to keep going. He _has_ to fight, he has to find a way to win their city back. He won't stop until he does – he _can't_ stop. He _won't_ let Harumi turn him into her, a hollow shell of who he was before, angry and broken and bitter at the world. He won't just - just throw away everything he's been taught like that.

(It's the _least_ he owes his brothers.)

Footsteps sound from the hall, and Skylor steps into the room, her red hair pulled back tightly, the familiar orange of her old uniform visible beneath makeshift armor. She gives him a small smile, looking down briefly at his gaze.

"Yeah, it's a little conspicuous," she says, with a wry glance at her uniform. "But it feels right, you know? I want…I want them to know who's fighting back against them."

Lloyd glances down at the all-black ensemble he's wearing, the lack of green in the outfit painfully obvious. He swallows.

Skylor doesn't call him out on the hesitation, though, continuing to talk as she double-checks the mask in her hands. "I mean, not _actually_ know who I am, because that would blow our cover a little _too_ quickly, but, you know, I want them to know that I'm one of the ninja."

"I think they'll get it," Lloyd says, offering her a half-smile he doesn't feel. "Everyone's going to be cowering in fear of the orange ninja by the time you're done with them."

"Ha! Maybe if _they_ -" she jerks her head toward where Pixal and Nya are. "-let me get my hands on that weapon, then they definitely will." She shakes her head. "Have you seen that thing? It's not even _that_ big or anything, but it looks like they're going for enough fire-power to blow up this whole building."

"What's this about blowing up buildings?" Ronin says, as he walks in, a deadly-looking knife flashing in his hands before he slides it into his boot.

"Nya and Pixal's doomsday weapon," Skylor says, and Ronin nods in recognition.

"Let's hope it works on that thing," he mutters, casting a wary glance outside. "That Nindroid better be right about its location."

"I am," Pixal says, stepping into the room, her expression set smoothly. "If it begins to move anywhere near any of us, I will let you know the millisecond it does."

"Pixal's got it, Ronin," Nya says as she walks in, pulling her hair into a tight ponytail. "We just need to worry about Harumi and the rest of the SOG."

"Now _she_ is someone I _would_ like to run into," Skylor says, darkly. "After everything she's-"

"Well, you're going to hit the west city base, so unfortunately, you probably won't get a chance to run into her today," Lloyd says, handing the map off to her. "Everyone got where they're going?"

They all nod, hands tightening around weapons, expressions ranging from jittery nervousness to blank composure.

"Okay," Lloyd says, exhaling. "In and out, grab what you can. And don't take any unnecessary risks, okay? None of this is worth - worth anyone's life."

"Got it," Nya says, nodding sharply at him, and for a brief heartbeat, it feels almost like he's leading the team as normal, just briefing for another mission-

Lloyd bites the thought back.

"Be careful, alright?" Misako says, surveying them all in barely-concealed concern. Her eyes come to rest on Lloyd, and he shifts under her gaze. He knows she's not thrilled about waiting at the apartment, but they need someone to run the radio - and Lloyd is _not_ about to let his mom chance going up against Garmadon again. No way in _hell_.

"Alright then, what are we waiting for?" Skylor says as she pulls up her mask, the dark orange fabric obscuring her face.

Lloyd exchanges a glance with Nya, who's pulling the mask of her mismatched gi up, her eyes hard. Lloyd pulls a swath of back fabric over his own face, wrapping it tightly before tying it off.

"Let's go," he says.

Time to see what Harumi's done to their city.


	5. Chapter 5

**This chapter is like, ninety percent people crying, just so you know. Bottling everything up and avoiding it doesn't always end that well, heh...**

 **(Thank you so much to everyone who's supported this** **story, it means the world!)**

* * *

Nya's used to fighting alongside Lloyd, but this is reaching an entirely different level.

The first time they had tried to actually patrol the city, looking out for civilians and trying to find any weaknesses in Harumi's network, they'd been reckless. They had made it halfway to the Jade Palace when the SOG had spotted them slipping down a street corner. Backed against a wall, they'd had no choice but to fight.

It had gone…well, not _terribly_ , because they'd made it out, but it wasn't _good_. They'd been off, too used to their normal dynamic of a larger group, and it showed. The only reason they had come out of that particular battle victorious was the utter, vicious ferocity they'd both fought with.

(And Pixal's perfectly-timed intervention. Okay, _mostly_ Pixal's perfectly-timed intervention.)

It had been jarring, though - it still is. The brutal, angry fighting style feels right on her, because she _is_ angry, but seeing that same viciousness on Lloyd's face – the hard gleam in his eyes as he strikes out more aggressively than he ever has against his enemies – it hurts, a bit.

Not too much, though. Like she said, Nya's angry too.

After that first fight, they'd gone straight back to Skylor's apartment and promptly trained until neither of them could stand anymore (and until Skylor intervened to save her apartment from demolition). Rediscovering each other's strengths and weaknesses, compensating for the missing spaces in their routine – it had almost felt a little like training on the _Bounty_ , except Misako had watched over them instead of Wu, and the missing spaces felt like a punch to the gut every time they noticed them.

Oh, and Ronin hadn't stopped giving them overly violent, below-the-belt and just plain _dirty_ fighting tips.

(Neither Nya or Lloyd will admit to it, but they use every single one of them.)

It pays off, though – which is especially visible right now, as Nya jumps up, already grabbing for Lloyd's arm because she _knows_ it'll be there. Sure enough, Lloyd catches her, swinging her around and powering her momentum so the kick she gives one of Harumi's men sends him flying through the window with a shattering of glass.

She swings down, putting herself back to back with Lloyd. They hold that position, dodging and spinning in unison as they decimate the SOG's attacking them.

"Spear!" Lloyd says, shortly, his sword flashing in a deadly arc. Nya tightens her grip around her weapon, tenses, and spins, Lloyd ducking under her as she flings her spear forward, the weapon slicing cleanly through the gun one of the SOG had been pointing at him.

The man stares at his weapon, blinking. Nya's eyes flash. With a nervous gulp, he backs away, grabbing his companion and sprinting for the exit. The two remaining conscious SOG's follow quickly. Nya's fingers twitch around her spear, but she lets them go. She and Lloyd won't be around here much longer for their reports to do any good, anyways.

"You good?" she asks Lloyd. He nods, pulling down his mask and tapping her fist with his.

"Not a scratch. You?

"Same," she says, pulling her own mask down and tapping her communicator until the radio crackles back to life. "Our building's clear," she says. "That was the only crew on this side of the city tonight, I think."

 _"_ _Way to go, guys."_ Skylor's voice comes clear through the radio. _"That should be it for tonight – all citizens seem to be keeping safe inside. You can start heading back to the shop."_ She's on the defensive tonight, circling the city from above with Ronin in REX, keeping an eye out from above and ready to bail them out quickly if worst comes to worst. Pixal is in the Samurai X mech on the southern side of the city, keeping tabs on the subway lines.

Nya and Lloyd are in the western side of the city, among the more industrial district. They're _supposed_ to be on simple patrol, scouting out the damage and looking for citizens stuck on the streets, but the Sons of Garmadon have terrible timing tonight.

Terrible for _them_. Lloyd and Nya aren't taken down so easily.

"Alright, we're heading back," Lloyd says. "Any sign of Mystaké?"

 _"_ _No,"_ Pixal says, her voice barely audible over the static. " _Her shop still looks to be uninhabited."_

"Okay," Lloyd says, his face falling. He glances at Nya, expression pensive. "I really hope no one got to her."

"She's tough," Nya says. "I'm sure she just got out of the city before anyone had the chance." She hopes she's right. If Garmadon had gone after Mystaké like they're thinking…

Nya shakes the thought off. "Let's get out of here," she says, heading for the stairwell.

 _"_ _Hey guys,"_ Skylor's voice suddenly bursts through their communicators again _. "Get up to the roof. You need to see this."_

Nya exchanges a glance with Lloyd, the same apprehension written across his face. They dart forward, kicking the door to the roof open as they emerge into the chilly night air. The sky is cloudy tonight, and without the light from the moon the streets around them are eerily dark, the streetlights dead and half-destroyed buildings vacant. The only decent light comes from ahead of them, where the heart of the city is - one of the few places spared by Harumi.

Only because _she_ lives there, really.

There's no sign of the Colossi wrecking another building, though, or any sudden, inexplicable explosions going off. Nya frowns, brushing back a strand of hair that whips in her face.

"Skylor, what's going on?" Lloyd says, his eyes darting around.

 _"_ _There's something big going on over near the Jade Palace reconstruction,"_ Skylor says. _"It could just be a rally, but there's a lot of people on the streets."_

"We'll take a look," Nya says, already moving to the edge of the roof, Lloyd matching pace beside her. "Which side?"

 _"_ _Approach from the north,"_ Skylor says. _"That's where most of the activity is."_

Nya follows Lloyd's lead as he jumps up onto one of the sky tram lines, her footsteps careful as they race above the streets. Most of the sky trams aren't running now, so there's little chance of one coming up on them and drawing attention. This also means they're stuck with a maze of steel cables that stretch for miles over the city, but Lloyd seems to have them memorized by heart, able to pick out which one leads where in seconds.

It's probably a result of all the time he spent looking out for Ninjago City by himself, Nya thinks. Not for the first time, she wishes desperately that they had never split up like that, that they hadn't spent their last few months together separated-

Lloyd jumps, flipping down to a rooftop beneath them, and Nya follows, grateful for the sudden distraction. They're in the heart of the city now, the buildings around them lit up and the street lights actually working. Lloyd skids to a halt in front of her, holding a hand out. His eyes are narrowed, sharp where he's looking down.

"There's a lot of people, alright," he mutters. "All of them SOG."

Nya leans forward, her own expression settling into a glare as she catches sight of the more recognizable SOG milling in front of the half-reconstructed Jade Palace, Ultraviolet's hair a sight even from this high up. There doesn't seem to be any sign of huge stone giants, though.

"Where's the Colossi?" Nya asks.

 _"_ _I don't see it anywhere near you guys, so I don't think-"_ Skylor pauses, her voice wavering. _"No, wait, there's movement on the east side – Lloyd, can you check that out?"_

"Got it," Lloyd says, nodding. Nya gives him a tight look, words unnecessary. "I'll be careful," he says, quietly. Then he's gone, leaping from the roof to the clothesline hanging from the next building, swinging himself up like he's a comic book superhero.

Nya watches him until he disappears, before turning back to the streets below, crouching down on the edge of the rooftop. Her fingers itch to pull her spear from her back, but she knows there's too many of them down there to risk the satisfaction of hitting Ultraviolet. She's here to make sure they aren't blowing anything else up, that's all-

 _"_ _Back out, back out,"_ Skylor suddenly says, her voice tense. _"Harumi's there."_

There's a sharp intake of breath from Lloyd's side of the communicator. Nya's jaw clenches as she narrows her eyes, trying to pick out the familiar white hair. "Where?"

 _"_ _Balcony of the Jade Palace, but it doesn't matter,"_ Skylor says. _"Seriously, get out - if she sees you guys, it's over. She won't let you escape."_

"She can _try_ ," Nya mutters, darkly. "I'm still checking it out, Skylor. We need to know what she's doing. We can't afford to be another step behind her."

 _"_ _No-"_

 _"_ _I'm with Nya,"_ Lloyd's voice cuts in, suddenly. _"We'll keep our distance, but we need to know."_

 _"_ _Your funeral,"_ Skylor huffs. Nya can almost hear her sudden wince over the radio. _"Sorry, poor choice of words."_

Nya steps over the edge of the building, dropping down and catching herself quietly on a fire escape. She carefully crosses over to one of the brightly lit buildings just in front of the palace, gritting her teeth as she scales the side. She can already hear Harumi's unmistakable, grating voice as it echoes across the streets. The sound alone is enough to set her blood boiling - but on the bright side, Harumi doesn't sound too happy.

Nya can only catch snatches of what Harumi's saying, but from what she pieces together, Harumi is less than pleased that the SOG haven't captured several _certain_ people yet.

Those people happen to be the "rebellious traitor, the green ninja" and his "band of terrorists against her new regime." Nya almost snorts. The _worst_ they've done is toss some of her men through a couple of windows, _please_.

…and they might have broken a few bones.

…and they've maybe left a few needing critical care, Nya isn't keeping track.

At any rate, Harumi has _no room_ to talk, that lying, back-stabbing, _murdering_ -

 _"_ _It looks like she's just chewing them out,"_ Lloyd says, with forced levelness. _"Nothing big. Let's go."_

Skylor voices her agreement, her voice harried as she urges them to _get out of there already_ , but Nya doesn't respond. Her eyes are glued to Harumi's figure, watching her gesture angrily at the Sons of Garmadon.

Something ugly is coming to life in her chest, sharp and angry. This is the girl that played them. The girl who broke Lloyd's heart, who destroyed their city, who _took her family from her_ -

"I can make it," Nya breathes, suddenly. "I can take her down now."

" _What?!"_

" _Excuse me?_ " Ronin's voice comes through, sharp.

"Harumi," Nya says, her heart rate picking up. "I'm only a building away from her, I can take her out."

Lloyd's voice is panicked. _"Nya, no, there's too many of them, you'll never make it out-"_

"I can do it," she says, reaching back for her spear, the tip glinting sharply in the light. "I just have to get close enough to spear her through the head. _"_

 _"_ _Nya, no-!"_

"I'm doing it," she snaps, standing up. She barely hears Ronin's muttered curse, Skylor's sharp intake of breath.

Pixal's voice cuts over her communicator. _"Nya, there is a ninety-six percent chance that you will be caught or killed if you charge in now, please reconsider-"_

"I don't _care_ ," she hisses. "I'm going to _kill_ her. I'm ending this _now_ , once and for all."

 _"_ _Nya, no, please-"_ Lloyd sounds desperate, his breath coming in short pants over the radio.

Nya rips the communicator from her ear, pulling her spear up as she reaches out, feeling the water from the river below the city churn at her touch. She pulls it to her, preparing to bridge the distance between the roof and the palace balcony – all she has to do is jump.

Just one hit, one sharpened spearhead slicing through Harumi's forehead, for her brothers, for Jay, for _Kai_ -

She breaks into a run, stepping up and leaping from the roof-

Someone crashes into her _hard_ , grabbing her around the waist and sending them both careening back onto the roof top, rolling harshly across the cemented surface until they come to a painful, grating halt.

Nya groans, pushing herself up and blinking back stars. With a jolt, she jumps to her feet, sprinting over to the rooftop edge-

Harumi is moving, retreating through the palace doors - going, going, _gone_. With a loud thud, the doors slam closed, cutting Nya off from any chance she could possibly have had. Her hands tighten into fists.

REX whines above them, and Skylor jumps down from the ship, her expression tight with stress and worry. A flash of relief crosses her face as she sees Nya. "Good," she says, her voice directed at Lloyd. "You got her."

Lloyd doesn't respond, standing up gingerly behind Nya, wincing as he shifts from his right leg to his left.

"I'm sorry," he says, hesitantly. "But- Nya, they would've _killed_ you – I couldn't let you-"

"That wasn't your choice to _make!"_ Nya snaps, whirling on him.

Lloyd immediately flies on the defensive. "I'm not going to just stand by and let you get yourself killed!" he bursts out.

Skylor's gone quiet, staring at them both with wide eyes, her mouth slightly open. Neither of them acknowledge her.

"Killing her is the _only_ way to end this, Lloyd," Nya says, her voice barely contained. "Someone has to do it!"

"Then we can do it when we actually have a _plan!"_ Lloyd fires back. "Not when you're just jumping in there and getting yourself recklessly _murdered!_ "

"It'd be worth it," Nya says, hotly. "It'd be worth my life. For Jay, for Kai – it'd be worth it!"

"Kai wouldn't _want_ that!" Lloyd cries, his face twisted in distress. "He wouldn't-"

"Kai – isn't – _here_ ," she hisses, her voice venomous and biting. Her vision has gone red in anger, her heart pulsing in her ears. "He's _gone_ , Lloyd, he's dead!"

Lloyd goes pale. "Y-you still can't," he says, his voice unsteady. "You can't just – go after her and throw your life away like that, I can't – I can't lose-"

Nya is barely hearing him, her mind racing too quickly, her heart beating thunderously loud in her ears.

Kai's dead.

Kai is _dead_ , and it's Harumi's fault, and - he's _dead_ , he's gone from her forever and it's Harumi's doing and Nya was _supposed to make her pay-_

She gives a harsh, half-hysterical laugh. "Oh, like _you_ went and threw _your_ life away with your father?" she bites, sharp and venomous to the point where she doesn't even recognize the voice coming from her throat. "You want to talk about jumping in recklessly? How about _you_ going in alone to face your father like an _idiot?_ "

Nya is breathing too hard, too fast, her vision flashing red as she hurls her words at Lloyd. "Maybe if you hadn't rushed in like that, you wouldn't have lost your powers, and we would've had a chance! Maybe if _you_ were actually around to be our leader like you were _supposed_ to, they wouldn't be _dead!_ "

Lloyd flinches back as if she's physically hit him, the little color he'd had left draining from his face, leaving him stark white.

" _Nya_ ," Skylor hisses, horrified.

Nya shakes her head. Her anger is already warring with horror at what she's just said, but she doesn't take it back – she _can't_ take it back now, her heart is racing too fast, a roaring sound in her ears as her fingers shake, angry and hurt and furious and _guilty_ -

Nya jerks back, spinning away from Lloyd and jumping from the roof, catching the fire escape to break her fall on the way down.

She stumbles to the street, hitting the ground in a dead sprint. She hears Ronin's voice echoing behind her, caution thrown to the wind, but she doesn't stop. She runs, sprinting past bent street signs and crumbled buildings and smashed-in cars, her legs taking her farther and farther away from the city center, away from Harumi, away from the others, away from _everything_ -

Nya finally stumbles and slows just at the city limits, her legs burning and her lungs on fire. Her feet catch on the ground, which has suddenly turned soft and spongy. Nya realizes with a start that she's almost run herself straight into the river.

She stops, staggering to her knees and digging her fingers into the muddy ground as she pants, her breath coming in short, harsh gasps. She's ran too far too quickly, her body screaming at her, but the burning pain in her legs is _nothing_ compared to the maelstrom that's raging in her heart.

The truth she's put off for so long is crashing down around her, smashing into her heart relentlessly.

Kai is _gone_.

Her big brother, her protector, the one constant she's had in her life since she can remember - is gone. He'll never be there to talk about stupid sibling stuff with again, he'll never leave her worried text messages when she's been out too late, never spend hours listening to her rant about her latest invention or her worries or her relationship with-

They aren't the Smith siblings anymore. Nya doesn't have an _older_ _brother_ anymore. She's an only child now, it's _just her_ -

The river next to her roars, and Nya wails, yelling out her heartbreak to the empty, silent night.

* * *

Lloyd goes through the next hour in a blank sort of blur.

He doesn't hear anything Skylor says, doesn't feel Ronin yanking him into REX before the Sons of Garmadon can find them. There's a giant blank space in his memory of getting to Skylor's shop, which he doesn't even remember entering.

That one is because he doesn't. The moment Ronin lands REX behind the shop, Lloyd stammers something unintelligible to Skylor and takes off, sprinting down the darkened streets.

There's a pang of guilt for leaving them like that, for abandoning them when they're probably worried enough as it is, but it dissipates quickly. He has to keep moving. He can't stop, he can't sit down in Skylor's shop and pick apart the reality of what just happened. He has to _move_ , has to run, has to get away from anyone else before they accuse him too-

Lloyd stumbles briefly, his feet catching on a section of broken pavement. His heart is in his throat, hammering wildly, and his pulse is racing so quickly he feels sick. His breathing is coming out fast, _way_ too fast, but he can't - he can't get it to _slow down_ -

- _if you were actually around to be our leader like you were supposed to, they wouldn't be_ ** _dead_** _-_

Nya's words ring through Lloyd's head like a sledgehammer, devastating and unrelenting.

Lloyd feels like he's going to throw up.

 _She's right_. Of course she's right, Lloyd's been thinking the same thing since he fell to his knees in front of Harumi on the sky tram, he just hasn't been able to – he couldn't _face_ that-

He had known it was a mistake, going after his father alone. He'd known it the whole time, the rational part of his mind screaming bloody murder at him the entire drive to the prison, but he'd ignored it. He'd ignored the advice of literally every single person he trusted, and he'd gone anyways.

The best part about it is that he can't even remember _why_. Can't remember why it was so important for him to save Garmadon, now that he knows, for utter, final certainty, that the being who's wearing his father's face is nothing but a monster.

Lloyd locked his friends up and risked everything - for _nothing_.

No, not for nothing. _Something_ came out of Lloyd's actions that night, and that's _everything_. His powers are gone because of what he chose. Ninjago is in ruins because of what he chose. His family is-

Lloyd chokes, his breath seizing up as he staggers to a halt. Blankly, he notes that it's almost dawn, the rising sun just coming up from the horizon. It casts the broken buildings around him in an eerie, reddish purple glow. As the light grows, so do the signs of devastation, the true extent of the damage surrounding him. There's no sound in this part of the city, just the light rustle of strewn papers in the wind, and Lloyd's own gasping breaths. He shakes his head, trying to blink the black spots in his vision away as he desperately attempts to reign his breathing back into control.

Lloyd tries to inhale, but it comes out a strangled wheeze, unable to make it past the wall of panic that's built up in his throat. It's like he can't get enough air no matter how he tries, his mind forgetting how everything works as it drowns in the pounding adrenaline coursing through his veins.

It's like his flight or fight response has been dialed up to a hundred, and it's stuck firmly in _flight_ setting - run, run, just run away from it all and don't look back, not until the danger has passed, only this time the danger is _himself_ , because he's the one who screwed everything _up-_

- _if you were actually around to be our leader like you were supposed to-_

Nya's voice rings through his head again, and Lloyd feels a sudden, terrible surge of anger.

Of course it's on him - it's _always_ on him. The city, Harumi, his father, everything - it's all _his_ responsibility.

Just like every. Single. Other. Time.

Why is he _always_ responsible for _everything._ Why is it always, always, _always_ down to him in the end. Why can't the weight fall on someone _else_ for once - it's not like he's actively stepping up and asking to do this, it's not like he ever claimed he _could_ , it's not like he's ever wanted to be in the spotlight like this, all he's ever wanted is for it to just stop, stop, _STOP_ -

Lloyd's anger sputters and dies. He wavers where he's standing rooted in the street, the light from the half-risen sun just starting to sting against his eyes.

 _Idiot._

He's not ten anymore. He doesn't get to complain like that. It's his responsibility because he's the green ninja. That's the price for being somebody, for gaining this family-

 _No_. No, he can't think about it. He'd told Harumi he was going to keep fighting, and he _is_. He's okay, he's alright, he's _fine_ , he just needs to keep moving, stick to the plan-

 _Alright, temporary Master Lloyd in-training, what's the plan?_

The phrase comes out of nowhere, their voices pulled from his memory, and Lloyd feels his breath stutter to a halt.

It feels like yesterday, his first days as officially appointed leader – he'd been so annoyed with them, the way they had shrugged off every order he'd given as he'd desperately tried to adjust to the formality of the role. It had seemed so important back then, that they followed his orders to the letter.

Not anymore. Now, Lloyd will give anything just to have them _back_ , to hear their voices even one more time-

But it's his fault. It's his fault that they're – that they're-

That they're gone.

They're _gone_. They're never coming back.

Lloyd will _never_ see his brothers again. He'll never hear their voices in battle, never laugh at their antics, never be able to look to them when he needs to.

Jay will never make awful jokes and argue with him over Starfarer comics until two am again. Zane will never be there to ask hundred questions to and talk over decisions with. Cole will never put him flat on his back on training again or spend all day trying to get him to taste-test his food. Kai will never play video games with him until they end up physically fighting, he'll never ruffle his hair again and call him-

He won't-

They'll never-

 _Oh god._

Lloyd stumbles, falling to his knees on the pavement, a strangled, gasping scream escaping his throat, angry and broken and _hurt_ -

 _Dead,_ his uncle and Jay and Zane and Cole and _Kai_ , all dead and _never coming back_.

And it's his fault.

He's always been terrified of being left behind, but _this_ -

Lloyd wishes they'd left him in the volcano. Wishes they'd left him to the Overlord, wishes they'd let Morro finish him off, wishes-

He wishes-

Lloyd curls up on the broken street, buries his face in his hands, and sobs.


	6. Chapter 6

***Crawls up from under piles of essays and post-finals laziness* I LIVE**

 **Seriously though this took a lot longer than planned :'( So to make up for it, I'll hopefully have another chapter up by this evening, because I should probably have this finished** **before season 9 actually premieres, eheh - the good news is we're down to the last few chapters, so I'll get there. Eventually.**

 **(Also...I have a lot of feelings about Misako. Not all of them are positive, but as a general rule I always try to understand and portray characters the best I can, even if they're not my favorites, so my take on her is...complicated. And probably messes with canon - but in my defense, Ninjago canon is a bit of a mess. So, here's more crying!)**

 **Thank you so much to everyone who took the time to review, I appreciate it so much!**

* * *

At some point, it starts raining.

The sky turns a dark, dreary grey, an ugly smog enveloping the city as the rain snuffs out the remaining fires, leaving smoldering smoke trails rising in the skies. Puddles of water form around Lloyd's shoes, the rainwater thick and muddy as it washes away dirt and debris from the crumbled street he's on. The rain and fog obscures most of the buildings around him, leaving the world a hazy grey.

Lloyd vaguely registers this as a good thing, because sitting out in the middle of the street in broad daylight would probably be one of the most idiotic things he's done all week. (Sitting out in the middle of the street at any time is idiotic, actually, with how many people want him _dead_ right now.) It ranks just below, say, everything else he's managed to do.

Lloyd sniffs miserably, swiping at his eyes. The misting rain is slowly collecting in his hair, streaming down his face and washing away the gritty tracks left by tears. The cold sting of the droplets is a welcome relief - his head throbs, his throat sore and his eyes aching as he scrubs at them.

This is why Lloyd avoids crying, _ever_. It _sucks_.

Lloyd exhales wearily, wrapping his arms around himself as the rainwater starts to seep through his shirt. There's a heavy sort of exhaustion sitting on his chest, the desire to sit here forever and never move again. To never go back, never have to face anyone or anything-

He doesn't really want to think about what just happened. What he just lost.

He's lost Nya too, now. Not like the others, but he's still lost her. He didn't deserve her, anyways - she's suffering the loss of so much, _so much_ because of him. And he hadn't even - he hadn't done anything to help her, had he? He's been so busy trying to keep himself falling apart, that he's completely failed to be there for Nya-

He swallows. It doesn't even matter now. She wouldn't want anything from him anyways, certainly not comfort. He burnt that bridge when he got their family killed.

Lloyd buries his face in his arms, trying to quell the sudden surge of nausea.

It shouldn't be a surprise. Lloyd's never been able to hold any sort of family together. He's the damning factor that always tears everything apart. There's one common feature in the wrecked families he's been in, and that's Lloyd. Lloyd and his mistakes, one after another until they stack up high enough to start hurting to people. To get them killed.

Lloyd bites his lip hard hard enough to nearly draw blood. Maybe he can just stay here forever. Stop pretending he's alright, stop pretending he has a plan, stop fighting back, just _stop_. Sit on this broken street corner and just….give up.

The thought feels like ice sliding down his spine.

Lloyd's never…he's never genuinely considered giving up. Contemplated it, maybe, during the worst of the days with Morro, briefly in the moments he's been defeated in the past, but actually _wanted_ to? Like he does now?

Ninja never quit. That's what Lloyd lives by, that's how he's made it this far.

Has he…has he lost that?

The thought rattles him enough that he almost misses the approaching footsteps as someone draws near. He's gripped with a brief moment of panic before he realizes it's his mother, her figure blurred by the rain as she draws a dark rain jacket closer to her shoulders. Lloyd stiffens, his shoulders tensing up as she draws near him. The others must have told her what happened by now, and Lloyd honestly has _no_ idea how his mother is going to react to that.

 _Pass him off to be somebody else's problem again, probably,_ a dark corner of his mind thinks, half-hysterically.

Misako finally reaches him, pausing briefly to brush the pavement next to him before taking a seat. She sighs wearily, but doesn't say anything, merely staring ahead as the rain falls softly around them.

Her voice is such a sudden change when she finally speaks, Lloyd almost falls over.

"I remember when you were born," she says, her voice quiet. Lloyd blinks in surprise.

"You were so small," she says, her eyes hundreds of miles away. "You were early, you know. Your father was scared we'd lose you. He was scared about everything when it came to you, though. Scared he'd hurt you, scared he'd raise you wrong - scared your eyes meant he'd passed the venom on to you. He'd find anything."

Misako shakes her head, her eyes fond. "I wasn't, though. I knew from the moment I first held you, how strong you were. How strong you were going to be."

His mother glances briefly at him. "Your father wanted to treat you like glass. I had to force him to hold you at first, he was so worried about the venom-" she breaks off, giving a wry smile. "But the second he held you, I knew he was never going to let you go. You loved him instantly, laughed for him. Gave him the brightest smiles."

She shakes her head. "And there we were, the three of us, the happiest I've ever been in my life." Misako blows out a shaky breath. "He loved you, so much. We both did. And that-" Her voice wavers. "That was all I ever wanted for you, Lloyd."

She glances at him again, her gaze soft.

"My sunshine son," she says, her voice fond and aching. "Bright and trusting and willing to love anyone that comes his way." She squeezes her eyes shut tightly. "It should be a strength. Your open heart, your ability to love, to forgive - it should be a strength, not a weakness."

Misako takes a deep breath, closing her eyes.

"I owe you an apology, Lloyd," she says, quietly. She opens her eyes, meeting his own. "When I first heard – when they told me what happened – I should have been there for you." Her eyes search his face, her expression crumpling as her hand gently traces one of the darker bruises. There's devastation in her eyes.

"I didn't want to see," she says, her voice cracking. "I didn't want to face the reality that this was done to you – by _him_ -"

Lloyd realizes, in an unsettling sort of shock, that his mother is crying. She cries a bit like Skylor does - continuing on as if nothing is happening, as if she doesn't even realize that tears are streaking down her face.

"Sometimes the world repays kindness with cruelty," Misako says, her voice thick and bitter. "It takes the best intentions and turns them against us." She gives a wet, choking laugh. "You were born into a family with terrible luck in love, son. And I'm so-" she cuts off, taking another shaky breath.

"I'm sorry I couldn't save you from that, Lloyd," she says. "I'm so sorry you - I never wanted this for you. You deserved so much more than this."

Lloyd hadn't thought he'd be able to cry anymore after earlier, but apparently he was wrong, because there's a horrible pressure building up behind his already-aching eyes, and his throat is closing up. He tries to hold it back, tries to suppress it, because his mother is sad enough as it is without Lloyd crying again, crying over the family he never truly got to know, and-

His mother wraps him in an embrace, pulling him against her, and Lloyd's ten again, lost and hurt and angry and _abandoned_.

"I want them _back_ ," he cries, where he's pressed against her. "It's not _fair_ , it shouldn't have been them, _I_ was the one who messed up, it - it should've been _me_ -"

His mother holds him tightly, letting him sob, his tears soaking into her jacket. Her fingers comb gently through his hair, the motion unfamiliar but comforting. He feels the warmth of her own tears as they soak into his hair, mingling with the rain water.

"I want them back, mom," he chokes out.

"I know, Lloyd, I know," Misako says, and her own voice is thick.

The rain picks up, the mist turning to heavy droplets.

"It's not your fault the world is cruel, Lloyd," she says, quietly.

Lloyd just cries harder.

* * *

Lloyd's not sure how long he sits there, wrapped tightly in his mother's embrace, but it's long enough for Skylor to find them.

"Have you _lost_ your _mind?_ " she hisses at them through the window of the car she's in, her eyes wild as she brings the car up near them. "You're in the middle of the street in the _middle of the day_ , are you - get in the car, before Harumi jumps you!"

Misako gives Skylor an apologetic look, patting Lloyd's shoulder lightly. Lloyd glares at the ground. He doesn't want to get up. He doesn't doubt that his mother loves him, but moments like these are so few, and Misako can be so reserved sometimes, and he just-

Doesn't want to move.

But he remembers how he left Skylor standing there, how she looked when he and Nya had argued - how stressed she sounds _now_ \- and his stomach twists in guilt. He stands, helping his mother to her feet as Skylor gestures them over. The car she's taken ( _stolen?_ ) is nondescript, a muted silver that blends in easily with the other cars littering the street.

Skylor taps her fingers on the wheel in agitation as they reach the car, her eyes darting back and forth across the rainy streets. Misako opts for the backseat, leaving Lloyd to slide into the passenger seat besides Skylor.

"Thanks for getting us," he murmurs. "I'm - I'm so sorr-"

"Don't," Skylor says, sharply. " _Don't_ apologize, Lloyd, just-"

She blows a pent-up breath out, relaxing her rigid stance on the steering wheel.

"Nya made it back safe," she says, finally.

Lloyd blinks at that, a wave of relief sweeping him. "That's…that's good," he says.

Skylor's silent for another minute, staring forward as the car rumbles quietly in park. "You guys can't do that to me," she says, quietly. "You can't run off like that, not when things are like this. You're - you guys are all I have left too, you know."

Misako makes a small, sad sound, and Lloyd feels his heart twist. "I'm sorry, Skylor," he whispers. "It won't happen again, I promise."

Skylor shakes her head. "It's not my business, what happened, but I just - I wish I knew more about you guys, how to - how to help." She mutters to herself, almost angrily. "I just - he didn't talk much about what you did out here, he was always so _secretive_ about the ninja stuff, and he never-"

Lloyd swallows. Lloyd knows that he'd kept the ninja stuff from her because the ninja stuff isn't always nice. Sometimes the ninja stuff is like _this,_ painful and hard and damaging. But he had loved her, Lloyd knows that much. And while it might make things worse more than it may make them better for her…Lloyd thinks it might be important that Skylor knows that, right now.

"He loved you, Skylor," he says, quietly. Skylor freezes, the tight, angry expression draining from her face instantly. Her mouth opens slightly, her lips silently forming a name.

Kai.

It hits Lloyd with a jolt, something that's been bothering him since last night. His argument with Nya is the first time Lloyd has said Kai's name aloud since the night he - he lost him. This is the first time he's allowed himself to _think_ of it.

Lloyd is suddenly gripped by a terrible, irrational fear that he's going to forget his own brother's name. _All_ their names. That they're going to be _forgotten_ -

"Kai was always talking about you," Lloyd continues, quickly. "All the time, how great you were, and how much he - Kai loved you, Skylor, I know he did-"

A brief expression of joy crosses Skylor's face before it crumples into heartbreak. She throws her arms around Lloyd without warning, nearly knocking the breath from him. Her shoulders shake briefly, and he awkwardly brings his hands up around her as he glances at his mother in wide-eyed panic.

Misako simply inclines her head at Skylor before turning and giving them privacy, neatly throwing Lloyd to the wolves.

"Thank you," Skylor whispers, her voice wet.

She doesn't say anything more than that, but Lloyd gets it. He relaxes, actually giving her a genuine hug. He wonders, briefly, if she ever would have been his sister, had she had the chance.

He immediately decides that thought hurts too much, and focuses on actually comforting someone else for once.

Skylor finally pulls back, wiping at her eyes.

"Great," she says, her voice wry even as it cracks. "Now _I'm_ the idiot leaving us in the middle of the street."

"You're more than warranted to your own grief, Skylor," Misako says kindly, finally speaking up. "However…perhaps we should get going now."

Skylor nods, swiping at her nose. "Yeah," she says. "Yeah, lets go back."

Lloyd shifts anxiously as Skylor puts the car in drive. Going back means seeing the others. His stomach turns, and he stares out the window, chewing on his lip. Raindrops blur into tiny streams of water that snake across the car window, and Lloyd watches them, thinking of Nya.

FSM, what is he going to do?

He's still turning it over in his head by the time they pull into the alleyways that run behind Skylor's shop. All he's managed to come up with is that one) it's his fault, and two) short of performing his own Oni Mask resurrection ritual, there's _nothing_ he can do to fix it.

A quiet part of Lloyd thinks that maybe, if Harumi had been stealing the masks to bring back her own family…he would have understood. They could have found common ground.

The only thing they share in common _now_ is loss and pain, Lloyd thinks bitterly. And that's still too much.

(He refuses to acknowledge that they shared a third thing, once, the idolization of the same man, yet so drastically _different-_ )

Lloyd shakes off that train of thought as Skylor gets out of the car, followed by his mother. Lloyd follows them hesitantly, his pulse skyrocketing. Skylor had said Nya got back alright, and he trusts her on that, of course, but he needs the visual confirmation himself. Needs to be _sure_ she's alright.

But he also would really, really like to avoid seeing her at all costs right now.

In the end, there's nothing for it - Lloyd takes a deep breath, sucks it up, and follows Skylor and his mother inside. The shop below is empty, the kitchen eerily quiet after the days of crowded tables. Lloyd wonders briefly on that as they make their way up to the apartment, but he's yanked from his thoughts as Pixal suddenly appears in his face.

He flinches back as her green eyes bore into him, intense and unwavering.

"Uh, Pixal…?"

"You do _not_ run off again," she says, and the quiet note of angered authority is the most emotion Lloyd's heard out of her in weeks. "And you _never_ leave your communicator behind."

Lloyd winces, vaguely remembering tearing the earbud out and throwing it during his frantic breakdown last night.

"Pixal, I'm sorry, it won't-" He swallows, thinking of how _he_ would feel if one of them ran off alone like that. "I promise, Pixal, it won't happen again."

Pixal stares at him a second longer, but her gaze softens, something almost like empathy sparking behind her eyes. "Just don't take any unnecessary risks," she says, and the flash of emotion is gone. "Our safety is fragile as it is."

Lloyd nods, and Pixal seems satisfied he's got the message.

 _Don't be a giant idiot again, you giant idiot_ , he's pretty sure is what she's trying to say, but she's just too nice to actually voice that.

Nya, on the other hand, might-

Lloyd cuts that one off quickly. Last night is still too fresh in his mind, and he hasn't even seen Nya since she-

"Did anyone follow you?" Pixal asks Skylor, off to his right.

"I don't think so," she says. "It was raining pretty hard, so it was hard to see. It'd be just as hard for them."

"Ronin?" Pixal asks, turning to the man for confirmation where he's perched by the window. Lloyd jumps. He didn't even notice him there, some ninja _he_ is.

"There's a few people sneaking around, but I'm pretty sure it's just looters," Ronin says, with a note of disgust in his voice. "What?" he says, at the looks given to him. "I loot responsibly. There's a difference."

"Of course there is," Misako sighs, finally taking off her wet jacket and hanging it by the door. "Lloyd, you need to change before you catch a cold. You're dripping all over Skylor's floor."

Lloyd flushes, running his hand self-consciously through his soaking hair. "Yeah, yeah, I will," he mutters, even as Skylor waves it off, stating that she's had far worse in here.

He's about to head to the back rooms to change when Nya walks out from her own room, her head down. Lloyd goes still, and the hush that falls over the rest of the room is painfully obvious. Nya glances up, her mouth opening-

-and freezes dead when she sees Lloyd.

Lloyd's mouth goes dry, his heart stuttering.

A flurry of expressions cross Nya's face. For a millisecond, Lloyd almost thinks she looks terrified. He doesn't really get the chance to figure it out, though, because Nya immediately flees the room, barely mumbling an incoherent excuse.

Lloyd's heart sputters and dies.

It's not like he should've expected anything else, really.

FSM, what is he going to _do._


	7. Chapter 7

**Slightly later than intended, but here's the other chapter! (Again...more crying...rip) Finally getting to some action though, it only took seven chapters :'D**

* * *

"I think you have that backwards, Nya."

Nya pushes a wayward strand of hair from her face, huffing. "No, it's supposed to be this way, I-"

She frowns, staring at the weapon again. "Oh," she says. "You're right."

"It is an easy mistake," Pixal says evenly, as she corrects Nya's error. Nya rubs at her forehead, trying to alleviate the aching pressure that's built up there. This is the fourth time Pixal's had to correct her this morning alone - Nya's so off her game it's embarrassing.

She shakes her head, trying to clear the stress as she focuses back on the weapon they're working on. She feels Pixal's eyes on her as she does, and she fidgets.

"I'm fine, Pixal," Nya says. "Just a headache."

Pixal doesn't say anything, staring at her a beat longer before nodding briefly, glancing back down at the weapon. Nya bites her lip. Pixal wasn't there the other night, but she was on the radio. There's no doubt in Nya's mind that she heard everything, even if she hasn't said a word to Nya about it.

She's not sure if that's a good thing or a bad thing. On the one hand, Nya doesn't think she could handle Pixal's potential judgement. On the other hand, the silence they're working in leaves Nya's imagination to run wild with what Pixal is thinking about her right now (and nothing she's coming up with is...particularly good).

At least it's just the two of them down here. They've turned the back corner of Skylor's kitchen into a makeshift sort of workshop, the previously busy space now quiet and empty. The SOG have been getting more intense on this side of town, so the people camping out in Skylor's restaurant have thinned and waned.

"They'll be back once the SOG move on," Skylor had said, glumly. "It's too dangerous for them to come out right now."

Nya is quietly grateful for the break in crowds, as terrible as she feels for their people. The empty shop is quiet, the only sounds from her and Pixal as they work. It's routine and robotic, gears and metal beneath her hands, only speaking briefly to ask Pixal a question about the weapon's internal wiring. It's emotionless, working with the machinery, and it's a welcome break for Nya. It's a necessary task, of course, it's something she _needs_ to be doing. She needs to be down here, this is her doing her part to help them defeat Garmadon. It's her job.

…it's an escape, and Nya's a big dumb coward.

Nya clenches her eyes shut briefly, her hands tightening around the soldering iron. She focuses back on the metal framework, trying to block out the screaming voice in the back of her head that hasn't shut up since she got back _that_ night.

The screaming voice that reminds her that she hasn't actually said a word to Lloyd since then.

Or, rather, that he hasn't said anything to _her_ -

Nya presses her lips together.

Through every up and down they've had throughout the years, Lloyd's been a constant she's used to having by her side. The past two weeks alone, he's been more than that. Nya's always been close to Lloyd, but she hadn't realized just how much she's come to depend on him lately. So having the awkward, cold distance between them now…

Maybe if Nya works hard enough, she'll forget that Lloyd's absence feels like someone's ripped a chunk out of her soul.

Nya adjusts the setting on the soldering iron she's holding, trying not to physically wince. Gears and wires are so much easier to deal with than people. At least with machinery, she knows that if she screws it up she can just repair it again (or Pixal can fix it for her).

 _(Repairing people is a lot harder.)_

 _Weapon_ , focus on the weapon, right.

It's the one she'd promised she'd make to help take down the Colossi - though it doesn't even have half the firepower necessary yet, and she's not really sure if they'll ever be able to make it. Garmadon's stone giant is much bigger than anything they've ever faced before. Nya doesn't like to give up, but she also doesn't like to _fail_ , and this…has a lot of potential for failure.

At any rate, however, it _is_ certainly one of the most destructive things she's ever made. Even in the early stages as it is, it's capable of sending viciously high-powered blasts at fairly decent distances. She knows this because Skylor _still_ hasn't stopped grumbling at her and Pixal for the hole in the ceiling yet.

Between her and Pixal, they've almost completed it - a first draft, of course, this isn't the final product - but it'll help them a bit.

Then again, a rusty shotgun would probably help them a bit at this point, pathetically outnumbered as they are.

Nya brushes hair from her face again, trying to suppress another sigh of irritation. The rough blueprints Pixal and her drew up for the weapon are _right_ , she knows this, but for some reason her own handwriting isn't making any sense right now.

She bites her lip, adjusting the papers again and trying not to look stuck. She'd really like not to have to ask Pixal _another_ question, even if Pixal never seems annoyed.

….not that Pixal really seems to be feeling much of anything, these days.

"Pix, I'm sorry," Nya finally says, her pride buckling under her frustration. "But I really have no idea what I'm doing with this part."

"It seems to be correct so far," Pixal says, drawing over to Nya and examining the gear she's working on. "Which section was this again…" Pixal's expression shifts slightly in concentration, her eyes raking over the blueprints.

"This particular function is not my primary expertise," she finally says, with a tiny sigh. "Let me ask-"

She cuts off abruptly, going utterly still. Her hands freeze around the wrench she's holding.

The sudden silence is alarming. "Pixal?" Nya asks, concern flooding her. "Are you al-"

Pixal snaps the wrench in half, the sudden, violent motion echoing harshly. Nya flinches back in surprise, nearly dropping the soldering iron.

Barely pausing, Pixal hurls the remains of the wrench across the room, where they crash loudly against the wall before clattering to the floor. She suddenly seems to collapse, bracing herself over the table with both hands, strands of her silvery hair falling loose over her face. Nya is frozen, her mouth slightly agape as she stares at the nindroid.

"Pix-"

There's a subtle sound, so soft Nya almost doesn't hear it. It's a weird sort of rattling, as if Pixal is trying to take a breath but it's catching on something. Before Nya can react, Pixal suddenly brings her head up, staring forward blankly.

"I was going to ask Zane for help," she says, robotically. "But he's - I forgot."

Nya blinks. She doesn't know what to say to that one. Pixal doesn't look like she expects her to say anything, merely continuing to stare into the distance.

"He's gone," she says, tonelessly.

Nya doesn't answer that either - she _can't_ answer that. She stands there, still frozen idiotically still.

Pixal grips the edge of the table, hands clenching so hard that the metal bends beneath her fingers, buckling under her hands. Before Nya can blink, she's pushed herself up, away from the table as she storms toward the kitchen door.

Pixal hesitates there, her head turning slightly to where Nya can just see her profile. "I _will_ come back," Pixal says, and oh - _oh_ , now there's too much emotion in her voice.

And then Pixal's gone, her footsteps muted as she races to the stairs. She's headed to the roof, to the mech - Nya's suspicions are confirmed as she hears the familiar hum of the engine, the muffled whine as the mech departs.

Nya swallows, staring back down at the half-completed weapon. Her fingers flex around the soldering iron, clenching and unclenching.

She should go after her, right?

Nya thinks back to how _she_ felt the other night. She shudders. On the hand, maybe Pixal needs the time alone before she talks to anyone.

Taking a steadying breath, Nya pulls the crudely drawn blueprints over the table towards her, trying to focus on the lines and scribbles that run over the design. The pages swim before her eyes, her and Pixal's handwriting blending together in an unreadable blur.

Nya shuts her eyes, rubbing at her temple wearily. This isn't going to work. She can't focus, not like this. She's grown used to having a companion when she's building something, to bouncing ideas off someone when she's inventing, to easy conversation and laughing at lame jokes as she works-

The soldering iron fizzles out.

Nya blinks. The tool is soaked, dripping water into the steadily growing puddle that's formed across the table, drenching the blueprints and spreading outwards toward the weapon.

There's a beat, then another.

And then Nya yells wordlessly, throwing the iron as hard as she can against the wall and sweeping the blueprints off the table in a fit of wild anger.

Jay's never going to build anything with her again. He's never going to brighten her day with his dumb jokes, never going to pull her out of the shop when she's worked on something too long, never going to stay up too late with her and watch awful movies, never going to take her hand and tell her how much he lov-

Nya crumples onto the floor, the fight draining out of her as she weeps. The water has spilled onto the floor by now, streaming around her hands and down to her knees. Nya doesn't care, letting the water run its course.

All those years, those days spent together, the fights they overcame, everything with that stupid love triangle and the pirates and Nadakhan-

Gone in the destroyed wreckage of the _Bounty,_ snapped and shattered into pieces.

Nya realizes, as she sobs, that ignoring it all hasn't saved her. No, it's just made it worse. There's _nothing_ she can do to stop her heart from breaking - it's already broken, just like everything she's built with him.

* * *

Nya finishes the weapon through drying, puffy eyes.

It comes together perfectly, clicking together neatly, Nya's previous haze of confusion washed away for the hollow emptiness left in her chest. She carefully picks up the tools scattered on the ground, cleans up the workspace, and mops up the puddles of water that drench the kitchen floor. She'd use her powers to drain it, but there's nothing left in her heart to spark her powers to life, no energy left to call the water to her. Instead, she soaks it up with a dirty towel like she would have before she was trained, the motion monotonous and numbing.

By the time she's finished and makes her way back upstairs, it's almost two in the morning, the apartment dark save for the few flickering lights in the kitchen. Nya holds her breath as she silently toes her way through the living room, keeping her eyes firmly fixed on the floor. Lloyd's out on patrol right now, so there's no point in the motion, but the reminder that he's out _there_ and not safe _here_ is…

Well, about as uncomfortable as the reminder that they're not talking.

Nya closes her eyes, pausing in the kitchen entrance and leaning against the wall. It's her own fault, because she's been avoiding everyone, but Pixal's absence today reminded her of just how _alone_ she feels. She's never been alone like this, before. At worst, it was only ever just one member or another of their team missing, and they always had a plan to get them back.

She's never lost all her brothers in one go. Lost Jay. She's never hit a dead end like this - never hit something so unchangeable. Even after Zane, they'd found hope eventually.

But this…there's no going back from this. There's no last-minute, desperate plan to enact, no magical object or loophole in the wishes to bring them back. There's _nothing_ she can do to get them back.

Her brother, her friends, her love. They're all gone.

She's alone.

Brushing angrily at her eyes, Nya jerks herself back into the present, striding into the kitchen. She feels around briefly before flicking one of the low lights over the stove on, illuminating the kitchen up in a dim glow. Nya registers the familiar smell of Skylor's coffee, and starts forward hopefully. Sure enough, someone's left coffee still heating in the pot, a small, hand-scrawled note stuck to it declaring " _For Nya – hands off, Ronin"._ Nya gently pulls the note off, her fingers tracing the familiar handwriting.

 _No_ , she thinks, with a lump in her throat. She's not alone. She still has Lloyd.

Lloyd, who hasn't truly smiled in weeks. Lloyd, who's not only lost his family, but his powers and his purpose as well.

Lloyd, Nya's baby brother, who got the blame for his family's deaths thrown mercilessly in his face, by _her_.

Nya swallows back the hot churn of guilt in her stomach, wishing she could strike the terrible, stricken look on Lloyd's face from her memory. Kai would be _so_ angry at her, oh, he'd be furious with her for what she said. She's furious with herself - how could she have slipped _that_ badly?

Yes, she's angry at Lloyd for rushing into Kryptarium prison, but not because he lost his powers. Not because she blames him for - for what happened, _gods_. She's angry because for all that he worried about his father, he didn't seem to spare a thought for the rest of his family. She's angry at him because he didn't even _think_ of what he was doing to them. She's angry because Lloyd apparently places so little value on his life, he didn't seem to realize how much it would _devastate_ his family if they lost him.

She's angry at Lloyd for putting his life in danger, and that's all. She's furious at _Garmadon and Harumi_ for destroying her family, for breaking Lloyd, for reducing her to _this_.

She's been so proud of herself for holding it together, for being able to be there for Lloyd and keep their broken little family together, but now she's just another person who hurt him.

"How do I even _begin_ to fix this," she whispers to herself, rubbing her head.

"You can start by giving me that coffee."

Nya jumps a good five feet in the air as Ronin speaks up, her hands flying instinctively to her side before remembering all she's got on is an oversized hoodie and sweatpants. Her ninja instincts are apparently taking a backseat this week.

"Don't _do_ that," she hisses, as her heart slows to a normal pace again.

"What, sit here?" Ronin says, innocent where he sits at the kitchen table.

"Yeah, in the dark all alone like some - some super villain," Nya says, irritated.

Ronin snorts. "What, a man can't enjoy some peace and quiet?"

"Not if it comes the cost of my health," Nya mutters.

Ronin just shakes his head, watching as she pours herself the last of the coffee. Nya unceremoniously dumps a large spoonful of sugar in it before taking a seat next to him, grimacing at the taste. She should've used creamer.

They sit there in silence for a moment, the only sound the ticking of the kitchen clock and the muffled wind from outside.

"That was a hell of a thing you said to the kid, the other night," Ronin suddenly says, his voice conversational.

Nya flinches. "Look, if you're here to lecture me about it, save it, I already know-"

"Calm down, Nya," Ronin says. "I'm not blaming you for anything. S'not your fault no one ever taught you kids how to properly grieve."

Nya blinks. "What?"

"Bottling everything up," Ronin says. "Ignoring everything wrong and and pretending you're alright. It's the worst way of coping, because you're not."

"Oh, like _you're_ the expert on coping," Nya says, slightly regretting the biting tone she uses, but too tired to truly care. "I can't afford to go breaking down everywhere, Ronin. Not when Ninjago is in danger. Not when _they're_ still out there."

"Hm," Ronin says. "And how, exactly, is that working out for you?"

Nya flushes, ducking her head. It isn't, but she's not about to admit that to him. She's not about to tell _Ronin_ she spent the better half of the last few days alternating between feeling like the worst person ever and sobbing her eyes out.

"You're strong as they come, Nya," Ronin suddenly says, and his voice is gentle. "But even the toughest jerks break down. You lost your family, sweetheart. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be hurt. It's okay to cry all over the place like a leaking faucet if you want."

He puts a hand on her arm, his grip firm. "But you gotta let that out before it turns ugly, Nya. Before you hurt yourself."

The _"and other people"_ is unspoken, but Nya hears it anyways. She bites her lip, feeling the now-customary burn behind her eyes. It's already turned ugly. Her grief is something terrible now, something sharp and painful and - and she's tired of it. She's _so_ tired, tired of feeling like this, of _hurting_ all the time, of watching other people hurt-

"I hate it," she whispers.

Ronin leans forward. "What was that-"

"I hate it!" she bursts out, shoving his arm away harshly. "I'm sick of this, I hate it, I _hate_ feeling like this _all the time_ -"

Ronin makes a hushing noise, eyes slightly wide as he reaches out, and she punches at him, her hits embarrassingly weak where she strikes at his shoulder, the tears running over.

"I hate it," Nya chokes out, all fight draining from her as she collapses. Ronin looks slightly shocked, but he grabs her gently, pulling her close.

"Oh, sweetheart," he says, and he's got that sad voice again, the one that makes him sound painfully _old_. "I'm so sorry, Nya."

Nya just continues to sniffle against him, any embarrassment she has at breaking down in front of him drowned out by the wave of despair sweeping her, and the desperate need to reassure herself she's not completely alone.

"I want to go home," she whispers. "I want to go home, but it's _gone_."

Ronin runs a comforting hand against her shoulder, and Nya squeezes her eyes shut tight, fresh tears flooding them at the gesture. He sits there like that for a bit, letting her cry against him. It doesn't last long - Nya doesn't have a lot of tears left to cry at this point. Instead, she just sniffs miserably, half taking comfort in Ronin's presence, half wishing the ceiling would collapse on her.

"Y'know," Ronin says, quietly. "I haven't had a real home for the last…well, never mind the number, but for a long time. But these past weeks? Shacking up with you crazy lot?" Ronin shakes his head. "Feels an awful lot like what I'd imagine a home would be."

Nya says nothing, keeping her head half-buried in Ronin's jacket sleeve.

"What I'm saying is - and here's your cliche spiel on what _home_ is - it's not some rickety old ship," Ronin says. "It's the people you lost on it. You lost a lot of them, so you're left reeling. But not all of them."

Nya blinks rapidly, trying to keep her eyes from welling up again.

"You've still got pieces of your home left, Nya," Ronin says. "It's not all broken. And it's gonna take time, yeah, but you gotta piece that together. Don't let those pieces get away from you because you're scared of what you said."

Nya looks down, avoiding Ronin's eyes. She's too scared of what she'll see there. She takes a shaky breath, willing her voice to come out steady.

"Lloyd…" she shakes her head. "I said an _awful_ thing to him, Ronin. I didn't mean to, I _swear_ I didn't-" she hangs her head, staring at her hands. "But I _hurt_ him. He's all I have left, and I broke that, Ronin, and I…I think I might've broken _him_."

Nya bites her lip. "And now Lloyd won't even _look_ at me," she whispers. "And I don't blame him. I told him it was _his_ \- he's never going to forgive me, Ronin."

Ronin snorts.

The sound is so jarring and sudden, Nya completely forgets about her resolution not to meet his eyes, staring up at him in consternation.

"Sweetheart, the kid's as miserable as you are, if not _worse_ ," Ronin says, looking amused and sad at the same time. "You're not doing a whole lot of looking yourself, you know. But when he does, he still looks at you like you hung the moon, you know that?"

The tears attack again, and this time Nya isn't quite as successful at holding them back.

"This is _Lloyd_ , Nya," Ronin says. "He couldn't hold a grudge against you if he tried. He won't look at you because he's _scared_. He's as scared as you are, because sweetheart, you're all he's got left too."

Nya looks down. "I don't know how to fix this, Ronin," she says, quietly.

"You talk to him," Ronin says. "You tell him what you told me, and you actually _acknowledge_ what's wrong. And hopefully he'll meet you halfway."

"Oh, yeah, easy," Nya says, with watery sarcasm.

"Don't be a smartass," Ronin says, ruffling her hair. "Aren't you supposed to be the bravest of the ninja, or something?"

"Strongest," Nya says, wiping at her eyes as she sits up. "But that, too."

"Then there you go," Ronins says, nodding at her. "But you better hurry. Pretty sure Misako gave Lloyd similar advice earlier this evening - or, yesterday evening, I guess. He might beat you to it."

"Right," Nya says, taking a breath as she stares at the table. "Got it." She glances up at Ronin, feeling slightly embarrassed again. "Um…thanks, I guess."

Ronin shrugs. "No problem, sweetheart," he says. "And thank _you_."

Nya frowns. "For wha-"

Ronin snatches her coffee mug and promptly drains the entire thing.

"Hey!" she says, swatting at his arm indignantly. "I needed that!"

"You need sleep, I'm just helping you get it," he says. He grimaces."Ugh. Too much sugar."

Nya rolls her eyes, but she figures he's right. She's got a few more hours until the sun rises. Maybe she'll feel a little better about things if she actually gets a few hours of sleep.

…and maybe she'll feel braver, too.

Tonight, Nya promises herself. Tonight, she'll talk to Lloyd. She'll make it right, clear up the awful, heavy tension that's between them. He's the last of their family – she can't lose him, too.

* * *

They don't all regroup until late that night, Pixal walking in to the living room silently behind Skylor as she comes back from patrol. Pixal's expression is still unreadable, but there's an edge to it Nya hasn't seen before. Her mask has cracked, and it looks as if she's not quite able to put it back together. Nya doesn't know whether to be relieved about this or not. On the one hand, Pixal needs to be able to grieve - needs to express emotion (Ronin's talk left _some_ impression on her).

On the other hand, Nya isn't sure if _she's_ emotionally strong enough to handle a breakdown from Pixal, too. Not when she's so used to Pixal being the strong one, being the rock of their unsteady group.

Nya sighs, glancing down at her grease-stained hands wearily. Maybe she can bring Pixal down later and talk with her - she can show her the weapon she completed to get her down there. Or maybe they can just talk about the weapon, and that's all. Shop talk has always been comforting, in its own way.

It takes Nya a minute to find Lloyd (not because she's avoiding it, or anything). He's curled up against the window seat, legs pulled up to his chest and his expression pinched as he taps at his battered phone. Nya briefly wonders if _she's_ the reason he looks so worried, before remembering that Misako left this morning for the outer villages. She's going to check out the Temple of Airjitzu, as none of them have actually made it there yet, but Nya has a feeling she's really just looking for Mystaké.

At any rate, Lloyd's mother is out there on her own, and that's more than enough reason for him to look this stressed. Sure, Misako's one of the few of them with her name not plastered everywhere, and she'll be staying well out of the way of the SOG and Garmadon - she'll probably be safer than any of them, actually, considering she'll be leaving the city. But still. More than enough reason.

Nya hesitates, trying not to stare at Lloyd too hard. He hasn't even noticed her yet, too focused on his phone. Nya could just talk to him later. She could wait until everyone else has gone to bed, or are at least out of the room-

 _Oh_. She blinks. They _have_ left the room. The only one left is Ronin, who is walking suspiciously fast toward the kitchen. Nay gestures at him angrily, throwing her hands up and glaring at him. Ronin looks at Lloyd, then looks back at Nya, and gestures back at her. He shrugs unapologetically.

Nya glares at him, the gesture she gives him this time much ruder. Ronin gives her a cheery thumbs-up in return, before ducking out before Nya can do anything else.

Leaving her and Lloyd alone. Nya swallows, taking a few steps forward and mentally bracing herself. She clears her throat awkwardly.

Lloyd glances up. His head quickly whips around, looking for the others. Panic flares briefly in his eyes as he realizes they're alone, a frightened expression crossing his face before he pulls his blank mask back up. Nya feels a pang of guilt - he's scared of _her_. Now she feels even worse.

"Um, so…" she begins, quietly. "We should…we should probably talk."

Lloyd's expression cracks in fear again before settling into resignation. "Yeah," he breathes. "Okay."

Nya takes a breath, staring out the window as she prepares what she needs to say. She hates this - not knowing what to say to Lloyd. It's always so easy to talk to him, and the stuttered formations of sentences she has going through her brain are foreign.

Lloyd beats her to it. "I don't-" he pauses taking a shuddery breath. "I know…it's never going to be enough. Whatever I say, whatever I do. I can't - I can't ever fix this. But I-" Lloyd swallows, closing his eyes tightly and looking pained.

Nya feels her mouth go dry. "Lloyd, I…" she trails off. What is she supposed to say? _Sorry_ feels like it's not nearly enough, and-

Lloyd's head suddenly snaps up, his eyes wide and alert. Nya freezes.

"Lloyd?" she says, unsure for an entirely different reason now. "What's…?"

Lloyd holds a hand up, cocking his head slightly as he listens. "I think-"

The color drains from his face, and his eyes widen. He jumps to his feet, running toward her with an expression of panic. "Get down, get _down-!_ "

Nya hears the high-pitched whine just as Lloyd crashes against her, throwing himself over her and sending them both falling back.

They hit the ground just as the wall explodes.


	8. Chapter 8

**I am SO CLOSE to finishing this, just two or three more chapters of what was originally supposed to be a oneshot and maybe I'll have it done before S9 premieres in Australia :'D** **As always, thank you so much to everyone who reviewed - I'm endlessly happy to see that people actually enjoy this, so hopefully I can have the last few chapters up with much less of a wait!**

 **(Um, also, warnings for this chapter: it's not a very happy one. Lots of people trying to murder each other, and a near-drowning that's Nya's fault. There's nothing _too_ violent, but that one particular part isn't very nice. It's closer to the end, so please skip that if that's not a good point for you!)**

* * *

Nya's first thought after the room explodes is that after everything she's been through, this would be a really, _really_ stupid way to die. Her second thought is that if Lloyd just had the nerve to sacrifice himself for her, she's going to march into the afterlife and murder him again.

Fortunately for the both of them, she doesn't seem to be dead, even if her ears are ringing and there are splinters digging into her arms. Lloyd had managed to hurl them both to a corner of the room before the blast, saving them from the worst of it. Shifting off her, Lloyd gives a pained moan, sounding more irritated than actually hurt as he pushes himself up, dust and debris falling from his hair.

"You alright?" he rasps, looking slightly dizzy.

Nya shakes herself back to the present. "M'good," she says, crawling to her knees and trying to figure out just how much trouble they're in. The room is covered in debris and splintered wood, the street-side wall completely destroyed. Flames lick the edges where the blast hit, spreading slowly but steadily as they catch to the rest of the apartment.

A lot of trouble, probably.

She glances at Lloyd. "You?"

Lloyd nods, wincing as the building suddenly shudders. Nya tries to connect the sound with the weapon - whatever they're using to blow through the walls. "We're not gonna be for much longer, though," he says, panic kicking in.

"Lloyd! Nya!" Ronin's voice comes from behind the doorway, which is firmly blocked by debris. "C'mon, you _better_ be okay - where are you?"

"We're here!" Lloyd calls, edging toward the doorway and pulling at the debris. "We're just-"

"Move out of the way." Pixal's voice comes through, and Nya barely manages to grab Lloyd and drag him to the side before the door is shoved violently off its hinges, wood and plaster crunching as the doorway is cleared.

Pixal emerges from the dust, gesturing sharply at Lloyd and Nya and pulling them through as the building shakes again. She looks unharmed, though her expression is tight.

"Everyone okay?" Lloyd asks, his own expression tense as he climbs through the remains of the doorway.

"Skylor is injured," Pixal says, gesturing behind her, where the others are sheltered just in front of the stairwell. Skylor is braced against Ronin, her face white with pain as she clutches her leg.

"I'm fine," she says, through gritted teeth. "Don't worry about me."

"She's got a chunk of shrapnel through her leg," Ronin says. "She isn't walking anytime soon."

"I can if I have to," Skylor bites out.

Lloyd glances at Nya, his expression tight. "Who's attacking us?" he says, sounding like he already knows the answer, but would rather not voice it.

Ronin opens his mouth. "It's-" The building shudders again, this time more violently, and there's a sound of shattering glass from downstairs. "Son of a-" Ronin swears, re-balancing himself and glancing at Lloyd. "You know who. We saw her just before they started firing at us. She's got half the Sons of Garmadon with her, too - someone must've sold us out."

"Or she just got smart," Lloyd says, looking as unwilling as Nya is to believe that anyone they've met in their time here has turned traitor. "It's not that hard to figure out Skylor's connected to us."

There's an sharp crunching sound as another blast takes out the remainder of the room they were just in, sending them ducking into the stairwell as more debris flies at them. Nya takes a moment to thank FSM that there's no one in the shop but them tonight.

"We can discuss this later," Pixal says, tapping at her wrist. "By my calculations, they'll have destroyed the lower shop in less than minutes. We need to leave now, or we will be caught."

"Got it," Nya says, adrenaline kicking in full-force. "Skylor, is the back door free?"

She shakes her head. "Don't have one. The stairwell only leads to the roof."

"We can get out in REX," Ronin says. "But they'll get to us before we can get to it."

As if to punctuate his point, voices sound from below them, the familiar yells of the SOG. Nya glances at Lloyd. He nods at her. Despite the heavy awkwardness that's been between them these past few days, they're still on the same track.

"Get to the roof," Lloyd says. "Keep hidden, and see if you can get down to REX."

"You better not be planning what I think you are," Skylor says, her expression strained as she leans more heavily on Ronin.

"Someone needs to hold them off," Lloyd says, drawing his katana. "You need Ronin, and Pixal needs to get the Samurai X mech."

"We'll keep them busy," Nya says, grabbing her spear.

"You'll get yourselves _killed_ ," Ronin says, looking at them incredulously.

"No, they won't," Pixal says, firmly. "I'll come back for you with the mech." Nya glances at her, nodding.

"We can't just-"

"Skylor, _go_ ," Lloyd says. Nya starts slightly at the tone he uses - she hasn't heard him sound that authoritative since-

"You heard the kid," Ronin says. "Let's go, people!"

Pixal leads the way, sweeping the debris to the side as she dashes up the stairs, Ronin close behind with Skylor supported in his arm. Skylor gives them one last, desperate glance, her expression scared in a way that turns Nya's stomach.

Swallowing, Nya turns back to Lloyd, falling into step with him as they make their way down what's left of the stairwell. The lights have gone dead, but the dark orange glow from the fire ahead lights their way. Nya's footsteps slow as they reach the bottom of the stairs. Lloyd comes to a stop next to her, the two of them standing in the wrecked shop, flames sparking dangerously close around them.

The lower building is smoldering, the blasts from the SOG's weapons having torn through the doors as violently as possible. The front wall is gone, leaving a pathway of debris to the open air. Nya grits her teeth as she catches sight of the street. There's about twenty of them, all heavily armed, and at the front of the group is-

Lloyd inhales sharply.

"This is gonna be fun," Nya mutters as Harumi catches sight of them, her lips curling into a sneer.

"Well," Lloyd says, dully. "If you want to spear her through this time, I won't stop you."

Nya only has time to shoot him a brief look before one of the SOG brings the gun up at them. They start forward in unison, splitting out and sprinting through the smoldering fires into the cool night air. The usual surge of adrenaline kicks in as Nya charges, using her spear to launch herself into the air before coming down on the first of the SOG with a solid, crunching kick.

It breaks into utter chaos from there, which isn't much different from their usual fights, except this time it's just Lloyd and Nya on their own against a good twenty or so people - which wouldn't be as much of a problem if Lloyd actually had his powers.

Off to her right, Lloyd ducks a blast from the gun, his katana flashing as he darts forward and roundhouse-kicks the gun straight into its owner's face, sending him senseless to the ground.

Okay, maybe she's selling Lloyd a bit short.

Nya grits her teeth as she clashes with another SOG's sword, yanking herself back into the fight. Her and Lloyd can handle the SOG for now - the real problem is getting out of here before any more of them show up. Hopefully Ronin and the others have reached REX by now. As much as Nya would like to fight her, she's really _not_ in the mood for fighting that Oni Mask, if Harumi decides to put it to use. Speaking of-

Sending the SOG she's locked against down with the butt of her spear, Nya straightens, her eyes locking onto Harumi, who has yet to do anything but watch them with that cold, amused look of calculation in her eyes.

 _Coward_ , Nya thinks furiously. She moves toward her, and Harumi's eyes widen slightly, her hands reaching for the Mask of Hatred where it hangs at her side. Nya's about to send her spear flying at her hand when her path is suddenly blocked by five of the heavily-armed bikers, none of them looking like they're planning on going down easily.

Taking a defensive step back, Nya glances to Lloyd, where he's just slid beneath a man and scissored him to the ground with his legs. He jumps up, smashing the hilt of his sword into the guy's head. He glances at her, then back at something on the street side.

"Nya!" he yells, backing away from the remaining SOG. "Get ready!"

Nya catches sight of Lloyd's target, and she nods.

Lloyd steps up, bringing his katana down and kicking at the fire hydrant. The valve snaps open, sending a torrent of rushing spurting toward her. Nya doesn't hesitate. She pulls the water to her, her blood pulsing as she wraps her element around herself, the water humming loudly as it circles around her.

The battle wanes, the remaining SOG slowing slightly as they watch the water where it glints in the light of the fire, suspended mid-air.

Nya flicks her wrist, and the daze shatters as water pulses towards them, sweeping them off their feet and tossing them every which way. Nya is merciless, slamming her element out with all of her strength. The few men that managed to keep their footing charge at her, realizing too late the threat she really is. Nya dances in and out, her water whirling around her like a deadly storm, violent like the ocean in full force.

She's so caught up in the pull of her element, she almost misses Lloyd making a beeline for Harumi.

 _That's not going to end well,_ she panics briefly, before she's yanked back into the fight as another SOG picks up the fallen gun, firing at her. Forced to fall back from the blasts, Nya glances desperately at Lloyd, silently begging him not to do anything stupid.

With the Mask of Hatred, Harumi stands taller than Lloyd or Nya, her greying skin cracked through with menacing purple. Nya watches Lloyd lash out at her with his sword from the corner of her eye, her heart in her throat. _She's_ supposed to be the one facing Harumi, not Lloyd - she's got the elemental powers, and Lloyd's just got-

Lloyd suddenly darts forward, dodging Harumi's vicious strikes. Almost too fast for Nya to follow, Lloyd shoves his katana through Harumi's jacket, pinning her momentarily in place as he plants two hands on the mask, brings his leg up, and kicks savagely against her. There's a shriek followed by a sudden flash of light, and the Mask of Hatred goes flying, spinning out from Lloyd's hands as he rips it from Harumi's face, leaving her smaller and diminished.

Lloyd's got that, apparently. Nya suppresses a whoop of victory. Without the Oni Mask, Harumi is an easy target.

The victory is short-lived. In getting the mask off, Lloyd's sacrificed his balance - and it only takes his brief falter for Harumi to lash out with her knife. Lloyd's sharp gasp punctures the night like a bullet to Nya's chest, the sudden spray of blood halting her attack.

"Lloyd!" she yells, sending the remaining water out against the SOG in a sweeping pulse and running for him.

"I'm fine, I'm fine!" Lloyd barks, even as he drops to his knees to avoid another vicious slash from Harumi. He slides forward, snatching his katana back up where it's still planted in the ground. Ducking Harumi's arm, he jumps back up, one hand leveling his katana defensively against Harumi, the other pressed shakily against the streaking gash that runs across his cheek.

Nya doesn't think _fine_ is the correct word here, but Lloyd is alive and fighting, and that's enough for her to turn her attention back to the remaining SOG attacking her.

Harumi gives a snarl of irritation that cuts over the din of battle, stepping back and eyeing where the mask has fallen behind Lloyd. "As always," she says, with thinly veiled fury. "You continue to be the most infuriatingly _useless_ thing to come out of Lord Garmadon's legacy."

"Well," Lloyd says, tightly. "You should've killed me instead of trying to kiss me, then. You had the chance."

Harumi bares her teeth. "My mistake," she says, with forced sweetness. "I'll make sure to let your father finish you off this time."

 _Over her dead body,_ Nya thinks, viciously.

"He's already on his way here now," Harumi continues, with a malicious grin. "He's coming _back_ for you, Lloyd. Isn't that what you wanted?"

It's Lloyd's turn to clench his jaw, looking like he desperately wants to punch Harumi's teeth out. "You don't know anything about me," Lloyd says. "So _shut up_." He strikes out, clashing their weapons together again as Harumi laughs.

"Oh, but I do, Lloyd," she says. "Your father's told me so much about you, it's been _so_ entertaining."

Lloyd falters, falling back slightly. "No, he - he doesn't even know me now-"

"Does he?" Harumi says, snake-like. "Or are you just telling yourself that? Because deep down, Lloyd, I think you know the truth."

" _Stop_ it-"

"That this _is_ your father. That he's finally able to do what he never could before. Because you're _nothing_ to him," Harumi says, her voice tinged in anger now. "You were never anything, just the boy who ripped my family away from me!" She glares at him, breathing heavily. "And now I'm finally going to kill you, and you're going to die alone, just like you've always been."

 _What am I, nobody?_ Nya thinks, even as she seethes at Harumi's words. FSM, is _this_ what Lloyd's had to hear from her all this time? She should've pitched Harumi off the side of _Bounty_ on day one.

Lloyd takes a deep breath, closing his eyes briefly before stepping back. "No," he says, with forced calm. "We're going to escape you again, Harumi, just like we did before. I'm not going to do this with you again."

Nya slams one of the last two SOG she's facing down into the street, punctuating Lloyd's point. One more to go, and Harumi will be the only one left in the street. Then they can get out of here, and finish Harumi another day.

There's a flash of fury that crosses Harumi's expression, mixed with something that almost looks like fear. She quickly schools it into a sharp, malicious look that makes Nya's hair stand on end.

"Abandoning the people of Ninjago again, I see," she says. "I guess that's nothing new for you, though. You _did_ abandon your precious ninja friends to their deaths, after all."

Lloyd goes still. Nya feels her heart stutter.

"I wonder," Harumi continues, manically. "How much they suffered when your father crushed their ship. I heard their screams. I was right beside you, you know. Standing there while you did _nothing_ , unable to even save your uncle-"

Lloyd cries out in sheer, raging fury, and charges at Harumi, his katana swinging at her recklessly. There's no strategy in his attacks, no form as he swings at her, just unbridled rage as he yells, attacking more savagely than Nya's ever thought him capable of. Harumi responds with equal aggression, her teeth bared as she snarls back, meeting every savage strike with one of her own.

They're too similar, Nya realizes, like ice against her spine. They're too similar, too far in their broken rage for either of them to win this fight. Lloyd is going to get himself killed - if he doesn't kill Harumi first. And Nya can't let that happen. Not like this. As much as she wants to let him-

Not like this.

She catches the last of the men she's fighting in the gut, knocking the air from him and kicking him to the ground. She doesn't hesitate, turning immediately for Lloyd and Harumi as she sprints across the street toward them, where they're silhouetted against the burning structure of Skylor's shop.

Nya's mere yards away from them when Lloyd suddenly stumbles over something, his attack faltering. Nya's heart skips a beat as he trips back, Harumi's blade barely missing his throat. Lloyd quickly jumps back to his feet, but not before grabbing the object he'd tripped over from the street. Harumi freezes, stopping dead in front of him. Nya slows to a halt.

The Oni Mask is in Lloyd's hands, glinting purple in the light of the fires. Lloyd's fingers trace shakily over the edges briefly as he looks at Harumi, then back at the mask. There's a look in his eyes that chills Nya's blood, makes her want to tear the mask from his hands and shatter it.

"Lloyd," she says, slowly. "Throw me the mask."

Lloyd doesn't acknowledge her, his fingers only tightening around the mask. Harumi grits her teeth, adjusting her grip on her knife as she watches him warily. Nya takes a breath.

"Lloyd," she says, firmly. "Lloyd, give me the mask." _Come on,_ she thinks, desperately. This isn't him, he knows that. He's better than this, come _on_ Lloyd-

He hesitates. There's the slightest dip of his hand, the beginning of a concession. Nya almost breathes a sigh of relief.

Suddenly bursting forward, Harumi attacks. Startled, Lloyd hardly has time to yank his katana up, just barely blocking her strike as her knife skitters down his blade. He pulls away just as the knife snags the edge of the mask, catching it between the two blades before Lloyd yanks back, sending the mask flying through the air.

Straight into the growing flames in Skylor's restaurant.

" _No!_ "

Harumi's wild cry echoes across the street. Nya's caught suddenly wondering if it's possible for an Oni Mask to melt in a house fire, when a flash of blond streaks by, running past her and after the mask-

And straight into those growing flames.

"Lloyd you _idiot_ , _no-!_ "

Nya takes off after him, her eyes glued on the spot where Lloyd's disappeared into the smoke, her heart pounding. The building isn't coming down yet, she can still get him out before-

But she's forgotten Harumi. It's only been a few seconds that she's turned her back to her, but it's enough. There's a loud humming sound, and the launcher they were using to blow through the walls earlier goes off again, the blast streaking by Nya and into the shop-

-where it immediately explodes, sending the building collapsing in a violent inferno.

The explosion knocks Nya on her back, her hands flying protectively over her head as embers fly around her. She lays on the concrete for a minute, too stunned to move as a high-pitched ringing fills her ears. She finally pushes herself up, moaning and blinking back stars. Her vision swims before solidifying, leaving her face to face with Skylor's shop, now a wreckage of burning debris.

 _Oh no, no no no-_

"Lloyd!" she screams, staggering to her feet. "LLOYD!"

Smoke stings her eyes, her vision blurring as she stares at the flaming remains of Skylor's shop. There's no way anyone could have survived that, but _Lloyd_ \- he can't be-

" _Lloyd!"_ she cries again, her voice catching as she stumbles to her knees.

 _No, no, no-_

Nya's fists bite into the pavement. She feels like someone's just punched a hole through her chest.

One second. One _second_ too late, and now she's lost Lloyd.

He's gone. She's lost him too, just like that. Her little brother, her family, the only one she's got left -

She never got to apologize. She never got to tell him it wasn't his fault, he died thinking she _blamed him for their family's death_ -

For two seconds, she teeters between the depths of rage and grief. And then she remembers who's behind her, and the last things she said to Lloyd. She spins around, her eyes flaming as she looks at Harumi. The girl is breathing heavily, gun still smoking in her hands, but she's _smiling -_ satisfied and cruel and ugly.

" _You,"_ Nya hisses, her own voice foreign to her ears. "I'm going to _kill you-!"_

Harumi's eyes go wide as Nya charges her, and she barely manages to throw herself to the side before Nya's spear nearly stabs through her forehead. Rolling once, Harumi grabs one of her men's fallen swords from the ground, pushing herself to her feet before Nya can strike again. Metal clashes against metal with an awful screech as Harumi's sword meets Nya's spear, their weapons flashing.

Harumi is good, fueled by fury and fear, but her rage, already half-spent from her battle with Lloyd, has _nothing_ on Nya's. Harumi manages to catch the handle of her spear with the knife, and Nya lets her take it, reaching out for the water that stains the streets instead. She pulls it to her, gathering it around her hand as Harumi slashes at her again.

Nya shoves out, sending the water pulsing toward Harumi. Harumi gasps, stumbling back as tendrils of water curl around her wrist, wrapping up her arms like angry snakes, slithering up her neck and over her mouth and nose. Harumi's panicked shriek cuts off in a gurgling choke, and her eyes go wide. She stumbles again, dropping her sword as she claws desperately at her mouth. Her eyes dilate in panic as her fingers pass uselessly through the water slowly encircling her.

It's a cruel, merciless tactic, one Nya's sworn never to use.

But that was before this girl blew up her brother.

Nya's hands barely tremble as she forces her power to bend to her will, using it like she never has before against Harumi. She's so caught up in that haze of grief and anger, she misses the third figure joining them in the streets.

A loud hum suddenly cuts through the buzzing in Nya's ears, along with a sudden chill down her spine, and Nya barely ducks the sudden burst of dark purple that streaks over her head, singing her hair with its power as it passes. Her hold on the water shatters, and Harumi falls to her knees, choking and coughing up water as she gasps raggedly.

A sudden hush seems to fall over the street, and Nya's blood runs cold. A dark figure is stalking through the sparking embers that are falling around them, his four arms thrown in haunting relief by the shadows. Garmadon's eyes burn red where they rest on her, glinting in murderous delight.

Nya takes a sharp breath, biting back the sudden flare of panic.

She'd seen him before, when they had fought in the apartment with Misako, but in the middle the burning street, knowing what he's _done_ , there's a new level of horror. The Sensei she once knew, the man who sat patiently with them and told them stories, who looked at Lloyd like he was his world - there's no trace of the man she once knew in this being.

Nya's actually glad for that. She remembers too-well what Lloyd looked like after they'd picked him up from Kryptarium prison.

"You're a _monster_ ," she spits, without preamble.

Garmadon just smiles, kicking derisively at a puddle of water as he strides toward her. Nya's fingers tremble, trying to draw her element to her again. There's too much, though - the fighting, the loss, _Lloyd_ \- she _can't_.

Garmadon stops in front of her, and Nya rallies herself, raising her chin and glaring at him defiantly. She's not the little girl he took hostage from Ignacia anymore. She wasn't scared of him then, and she isn't scared of him now.

Her power may be exhausted, she may have lost everything, but she's still Nya Smith. Samurai and Water Ninja, and she's not going to give him the satisfaction of seeing her go out in fear. What has she got to lose, anyways? She's not afraid of what he can do to _her_. Besides-

She'll see Kai and Jay again.

A dark, satisfied expression crosses Garmadon's face, and dark energy hums to life in his hands. Nya can hear Harumi's low laughter from beyond them. She shudders, trying one last time to call the water to her.

Garmadon raises a hand, dark purple light blazing.

There's a high-pitched whine - Nya briefly recognizes it as the sound of the blaster she and Pixal had created - and then a bright, flaming blast catches Garmadon in the chest, sending him flying clear across the street and into the building, smashing through the walls with a howl of pain. Harumi looks up in startled alarm, and her jaw drops. Nya follows her gaze, and it's all she can do to keep hers from dropping as well.

Lloyd is on one knee in front of the burning wreckage of the shop, his hair slightly blackened and soot darkening his bloodied cheek, his hands tightly clutching the still-smoking blaster. There's a shocked sort of expression on his face, as if he can't quite believe what he just did. His eyes, though, are burning in deadly, unrepentant determination.

"How are you _still_ _alive?"_ Harumi shrieks, infuriated.

Lloyd gives a careless shrug. "Trust me, I'm just as surprised as you are," he says, sounding winded. His expression narrows into a fiery glare. "Now _get away_ from Nya, before I blast you too."

"You wouldn't," Harumi says, but she's backing away, her face going tight as she realizes she doesn't have anything or anyone backing her now. "You wouldn't kill me. You love-"

"Don't you _dare_ finish that," Lloyd hisses, his expression furious. "You're the reason the ninja are _dead_. Believe me, I _will not_ _hesitate_."

An odd mixture of expressions cross Harumi's face, fear flickering there before she drowns it beneath the expression of hatred she wears so well. Her hands clench and unclench as she steps back, looking torn between running away or rushing at Lloyd. Nya is still rooted in place, trying to process what feels like a hundred emotions at once.

Lloyd doesn't look much better, still breathing heavily as his hands shake slightly around the gun. His fingers tighten around the trigger, and for a second, Nya almost thinks he'll shoot Harumi out of sheer adrenaline. Whether he would've pulled the trigger or not, she'll never know, because in that next second the entire street shakes, a thundering crash echoing through the night.

Lloyd's eyes go wide, and he looks at Nya. A slow smile spreads across Harumi's face, and she starts to laugh.

"Ah, but I'm sure you would love to shoot your father's mighty Colossi," she says, confidence regained. "How long do you think you'll last, just the two of you?"

Lloyd edges toward Nya, the gun still trained firmly on Harumi. Nya steels herself, picking her spear up from the ground and taking her place beside Lloyd. He looks at her again, thinly-veiled panic in his eyes, and Nya takes a shaky breath. They won't stand a chance against the Colossi. Not like this. They can run, maybe, but Nya has a feeling they won't get far.

Harumi looks certain of it. "Surrender," she says. "And I might let you li-"

Samurai X lands in the street with an almighty crash, sending Harumi tumbling back with a yell. Before either of them can react, the mech has Lloyd in one arm and Nya in the other, pulling them up. Pixal's expression is unreadable behind the Samurai X mask, but she barely spares Harumi a glance. Instead, she immediately blasts off, wind tearing at Nya's hair as they rocket away from Harumi and the Colossi, leaving them standing in the burning street alone.

Harumi's shriek of rage follows them into the night.


	9. Chapter 9

**Well, this story is officially an AU now! It was fun while it lasted (though I will say I like what I did with Ronin a _lot_ better than what the show's doing. Hmph.) I'm really enjoying getting to watch it actually play out though - Lloyd and Nya's voice actors are KILLING it, and killing my heart in the process :'D**

 **Finally hitting some resolution here, I should be able to wrap it up in the next chapter! Thanks so much to everyone who's stuck with this story so far, we're almost there!**

* * *

Pixal flies them clear out of the city, past the outskirts and straight on until they're crossing over Jamanakai village. She doesn't slow the entire trip, the wind streaking by leaving Nya numb with cold. By the time they reach the achingly familiar structure of the Temple of Airjitzu, still floating high above the rest of the land, Nya can barely feel her fingers.

That's hardly a concern for her at the moment, though.

Pixal has barely touched down before Nya struggles free of her grasp, dropping to the ground and storming over to Lloyd, her hands shaking with barely-suppressed fury. She hardly notices Ronin and Skylor landing REX nearby, Ronin still supporting Skylor as they step out from the ship. Pixal is out of the Samurai X mech just in time to stop Misako, who emerges from the temple looking harried. Nya ignores them all, too intent on her target.

"What the hell were you _thinking_?" Nya yells, her hands tightening into fists as she stalks toward Lloyd, who's still brushing soot off his arms.

Lloyd's expression goes blank, his jaw tightening. "I had it under control," he says, as if he hadn't almost been blown to bits in a fiery inferno. As if he was never in any danger at all.

"You call _that_ in control?" Nya cries. "You ran into a burning building that _blew up!_ On purpose! _"_

"I knew what I was doing - and it doesn't _matter,_ " Lloyd says, his voice growing louder in irritation. "We got out fine, end of story."

"Oh, so almost getting _blown up_ because you're a reckless _idiot_ isn't important-"

"I was fine, I had a plan!" Lloyd yells back, his own temper snapping. "I couldn't let Harumi get to it, I had to-"

"I could've gotten Harumi!" Nya snaps, the mention making her see red. "You can't let her get to you like that, you almost got yourself killed over her!"

"That's _not_ what happened!" Lloyd bites out almost desperately, his composure slipping. "If you would just trust me, for even one second-"

"How am I supposed to trust you if you're pulling stunts like _that_?" Nya fires at him. "That was a stupid, reckless move, you just barely got lucky-"

"Well maybe we'll _both_ get lucky next time!" Lloyd yells, his eyes over-bright. "Maybe my dad will do us all a favor next time and finally finish me off!"

Nya smacks him.

It's not hard, but the sound echoes across the monastery yard, loud against the early morning quiet. She's pretty sure Ronin's jaw drops. She's not sure, though, because she's in shock as well.

Lloyd goes rigid, his face blank as he touches his cheek, his fingers shaking. He finally turns back, and whatever expression he had on drops in shock as he meets her eyes.

Tears are spilling over her cheeks, her anger effectively crushed to pieces by the shattering reality of what he's just said.

"How can you say that," she whispers. "Do you know – do you know what it would _do_ to me if I lost you too?"

Nya inhales, trying not to panic. Is this how Lloyd felt, that night on the roof? The same crippling, blinding panic he'd felt because he'd realized he might lose the last member of their little family he has left? The realization of how badly that loss would _break_ him?

The anger drains out of her, leaving Nya horribly, achingly exhausted. She drops to her knees like a puppet with its strings cut. "I can't, Lloyd," she says brokenly. "Not you too. I can't lose you."

Lloyd's face crumples. "I'm sorry," he says, almost frantically. "Nya, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean – I'm sorry, I - I..."

He hesitates, and then he drops to his knees as well. His posture is slumped, utterly defeated as he kneels across from her in the dirt. They probably make a depressingly pathetic picture, the two of them.

The last of of them.

The last of the famous ninja, and they're reduced to two miserable, beaten down kids. Nya almost wants to laugh.

"I get it," she finally says, her voice rasping. "I…I didn't think it would be this hard."

Lloyd inhales shakily. "I can't do this, Nya," he whispers. "My father, Harumi, Kai, the ninja, _everything_ \- it's my fault, and I can't fix it." Lloyd stiffens, his shoulders going rigid before they crumple inward, his shoulders shaking as he swallows a sob.

"I'm sorry," Lloyd gets out. "I'm so sorry. Cole, Zane, Jay, Kai – I failed them, I failed _you._ "

"No, Lloyd, _I'm_ sorry, I-" her voice hitches, tears clogging her throat. "I didn't mean it. I didn't mean to blame you, it's not your fault." Nya looks up, meeting Lloyd's own teary gaze. "We both failed them, Lloyd," she says, quietly. "If it's on anyone...it's on both of us."

"It's on _Harumi_ , I _swear_ to _FSM_ -"

Skylor's voice cuts in, reminding them abruptly that they're not alone. Ronin tries to hold her back, but Skylor shrugs him off, limping over to them with a heated glare.

" _Enough_ of the blame game," she says, fiercely. "This is Harumi's fault, and hers alone. Well, it's Garmadon's, too, but he's-" She shakes her head, dropping down to a crouch beside them, her expression softening.

"This isn't on either of you," she says, her hand coming to rest on Nya's back. "Okay? You're guilty, because you survived, and they didn't. But it's not your fault. It's _not_. Nobody blames you, so don't - don't let what Harumi did destroy you because you've both got guilt complexes."

Lloyd stares at her as if she's grown a second head. Nya doesn't know how to react, except maybe to cry more.

"…Skylor is right," Pixal says, stepping over and kneeling down beside them. Her expression is twisted in grief, but her voice is determined and passionate. "We cannot let this loss tear us apart. We are the best hope Ninjago has."

She lays a gentle hand on Lloyd's back, meeting his eyes. "You cannot fix what's been done," she says, quietly. "Not on your own."

Lloyd stares at her, biting his lip in a habit Nya recognizes as his way of stopping himself from bursting into tears.

"Yeah, you guys seem to keep forgetting you've got us," Skylor says, trying to force cheer into her watery voice. "We're here for you guys too, you know, and we're here 'til the end. I mean, come on, what are we, reject members-"

Nya throws herself into Skylor's arms, one arm dragging Lloyd into the embrace as she breaks into half-hysterical giggles that quickly turn to sobs. Skylor's arms tighten, encircling them both, and Lloyd finally seems to regain movement, clinging to Nya as his shoulders shake. After a moment's hesitation, Pixal joins in as well, linking Lloyd and Skylor, and leaving them what has to be a pathetic sight.

Nya doesn't really care. She's even more exhausted now, but not in the way she was before. She feels something in her chest loosen as she lets out a shaky exhale. Pixal is at her back, Skylor at her side, and Lloyd still has his head buried in her shoulder.

She's got them. Her broken pieces, their ragged, patched-together making of a team. She's still got them.

Nya lets herself go limp, and for the first time in weeks, she doesn't feel quite as hollow inside.

"This is disgusting," Ronin remarks suddenly, breaking the silence.

"Ronin," Misako says wearily. "Shut up."

* * *

Lloyd's forgotten how cold the Temple of Airjitzu can get.

It's a beautiful place, of course, and the fact that it's literally a floating island in the air is pretty incredible. But it _is_ a floating island in the air, _high_ up in the air, and it's not exactly warm up here. Especially when the sun goes down. Then it's _freezing_ , and he's starting to remember why he hated himself every morning for trying to enforce before-dawn training back when they stayed here.

That's what he's trying to focus on. Not the last time he was here, and not the memories of who he was here with. Remembering how he hated the cold is a lot less painful.

Not that he _really_ hates the cold right now. It kind of feels good, considering the current state a lot of his skin is in.

"Ow, _ow_ , mom, stop-"

"If you held still, it wouldn't hurt quite as much," Misako says with suppressed frustration, trying to pull Lloyd's arm back in place so she can get the rest of the salve on. She spears him with a look. "And if you weren't squirming so much, we would've been done by now."

"I'm not _squirming_ ," Lloyd grumbles, but he forces himself to hold still, biting his cheek against the stinging pain.

His mother rolls her eyes, but her forehead is creased in worry. "We're almost done," she says, leniently. "These aren't quite as bad as the burns on your other arm, but we're still going to need to change the bandages out frequently."

Lloyd bites back a sigh of irritation, glancing dejectedly at his blistered skin. Despite how he'd tried to shrug it off, the fire _had_ been a near thing - one that had scared him a lot more than he'll admit. ( _Ever_ admit, considering the hell he's gotten for it as it is.) He'd sacrificed the better part of his sleeves and a good layer of skin to get Nya's gun, and while it was worth it - _so_ worth it - it's not something he'll be trying again anytime soon.

He'd just -

He'd _needed_ to get the mask. He'd needed _something_ , some way to fight back without feeling utterly helpless. Something to give him the power to hit back, and to hit back _hard_. It was only Nya's panicked cry that managed to yank him out of that obsessive haze, which had given him just enough time to change directions and grab the gun instead. And thank FSM he had, because he'd made it out just in time to see _him_ about to kill Nya too-

Lloyd swallows. He doesn't want to think back to that moment yet.

He doesn't want to think about the moments before, either. Those few seconds he had the mask, and he'd felt like-

Well, it doesn't matter what he'd felt like. It won't happen again. Because next time, he'll just grab the gun in the first place, and send Harumi flying through several walls before she even gets the chance to open her mouth-

Lloyd takes a breath. Stop focusing on Harumi, right. She's a weak spot he can't afford.

 _Really_ can't afford, he thinks, hissing as his mother finishes tying off the bandages on his wrist. He really hadn't lied to Nya, he'd gotten out fine, just…a little singed. Maybe too singed for comfort.

He learned his lesson, alright?

"I know you did," Misako says, the smallest hint of a smile in her voice. It quickly drops as she fixes him with a glare. "But if I _ever_ have to hear about you running into an exploding building again, Lloyd Montgomery, there will be consequences."

Lloyd sneaks a wary glance at her. "What kind of consequences?"

"Use your imagination," Misako says, pulling the gauze off around his fingers. She pauses, closing her eyes briefly. Sighing, she drops her head, one hand rubbing her temple and the other still tightly holding his own.

Lloyd shifts guiltily. "It won't happen again," he says, earnestly. "I promise. No more running into burning buildings."

Misako shakes her head, a sad smile on her face. "You keep that promise. For Nya's sake."

Lloyd winces. "For _my_ sake, I'll keep it for Nya's sake," he says, remembering her reaction and rubbing his cheek. It hadn't hurt, really, and Nya's apologized several times for it already, but still. Nya is not one to cross a second time.

His mother squeezes his hand one last time before letting go, packing up the bandages and wincing as she stands. "I'm going to go see if I can help Ronin salvage anything from the storehouse," she says. "Who knows what he's going to prioritize bringing."

"Okay," Lloyd says, eyeing her in concern. "D'you want to wait until morning though? It's getting kinda late, and you could probably use the rest."

Misako glances at him, her expression critical. "If I happen to see _you_ trying to rest, then I'll consider it," she says.

Lloyd ducks his head. "That's playing dirty," he mutters.

"Runs in the family, I'm afraid," Misako says, a hint of melancholy in her voice.

Lloyd looks away, biting his lip. Before he can say anything he'll regret, he stands up, careful to keep his arms tucked safely in front of him. "I'm gonna go check some of the other rooms, and then I'll try to get to sleep, okay?"

Misako doesn't quite look like she believes him, but she nods. Figuring that's the best he can offer her right now without blatantly lying, he turns away, making for the doors that lead to the outside grounds.

 _Runs in the family._ Ha _._ Whatever's left of _his_ family is a sorry excuse for-

Lloyd hesitates, his feet catching awkwardly as he aborts the motion. Debating it a minute, he turns back, running to his mother. She's barely turned around, a question already forming on her lips, and Lloyd crashes against her, hugging her tightly.

"Love you, mom," he mumbles.

Misako goes still in surprise, stiffening briefly before relaxing and returning the embrace. She pulls him close, holding him tightly.

"I love you, too," she whispers, a catch in her voice.

Lloyd lets it go on for another beat before pulling away, giving her a lopsided smile. Misako dashes suspiciously at her eyes, but she smiles at him, briefly squeezing his shoulder before turning to leave again.

Nodding to himself, Lloyd makes his way out to the courtyard, his feet taking him aimlessly across over the temple grounds and over to the edge of the floating island. The temple structures are still standing strong, just how they left them when they split off to search for Sensei Wu. Lloyd glances back at the familiar features, fighting back a wave of homesickness. He likes the temple, but he's glad they're not staying here.

They won't be here for long for much longer. The temple works for a last defense, and for a temporary point to regroup, but it's way too out in the open.

(A part of him vaguely remembers Harumi asking him about their headquarters. At least he hadn't been a _complete_ and total idiot.)

Also, if they're going to keep actively fighting Harumi and the SOG, they need to be closer. They can start at Jamanakai village, and work their way from there – Ronin's got a house in the village he's re-breaking into for them. Lloyd's starting to think he has a house _everywhere_.

His thoughts are cut off as he stifles a yawn, covering his mouth and rubbing at his eyes. Despite his best attempts to ignore it, he can't keep denying the crippling exhaustion threatening to overtake him, the reminder that he hasn't really gotten a full night's sleep since…since…

Lloyd cringes. Not remembering when you last slept is a sign that you're in trouble, Kai always tells him.

Told him.

Lloyd swallows. He definitely can't ignore _that_ anymore. While it doesn't hurt quite as horribly as it first did, the realization that he's never going to see Kai again, even to have him scold him for not sleeping enough, is…

Terrible. Awful. It hurts worse than anything, and Lloyd would trade the world to change it.

But he can't, he thinks, blinking unsteadily. He can't get them back. And he can't quit, either. They haven't lost the fight against Garmadon yet, but they certainly haven't won it. He has to keep going. If not for himself, then for his family. For Nya.

Lloyd exhales wearily, staring off the edge of the island, the treetops barely visible below in the darkening evening. He's also forgotten how high the temple is.

"You lean over any further, I'm gonna have to come after you with my dragon."

"I dunno," Lloyd says, still staring at the drop as Nya's footsteps echo across the courtyard. "I used a map as a parachute once, you know. I could figure something out."

"Uh-huh," Nya says, her voice drenched in skepticism.

Lloyd rolls his eyes, finally turning to her. Nya's changed from her gi to civilian clothes, wearing the same bright blue hoodie she'd had on at the Walker's. There's a duffle bag slung over her shoulder, stuffed with the few of her belongings she's taking from the temple. Lloyd knows that she has several of Jay's things in there too, though, along with Kai's. Everyone has stuff left up here.

Lloyd couldn't bring himself to look. He ought to, though. Maybe. It's not like anyone's going to steal anything from way up here.

…well, they _did_ bring Ronin up.

"Standing a little close to the edge, huh?" Nya says. She isn't looking at him, staring out over the darkening landscape instead, but Lloyd swears he can hear the accusation in her voice.

"I wasn't actually going to fall," Lloyd says, a bit defensively.

"I know," Nya says evenly. She goes silent, leaving the two of them standing there in the quiet evening, the chilly wind whipping their hair about wildly. Lloyd feels Nya's eyes on him, surveying him critically.

"Your hair's getting too long," she finally says, before he can ask.

"…it can't be worse than a bowl cut," Lloyd replies.

The edges of Nya's mouth quirk up. "Touché," she says. She pulls something small and round from her wrist, snapping the little silver elastic band around Lloyd's own wrist. "Here, you might need this."

Lloyd looks at his wrist, then at her, unimpressed. "A hair band?"

"Yup," Nya says. "A very useful invention. I can get you one in green, if you want."

"No thanks," Lloyd says wryly. "Silver is fine."

"Up to you," she says. She sighs, staring at him in that searching way again. Lloyd shifts under her gaze.

"What?" he finally says, wondering if he managed to burn his face, too. Actually, he does sort of remember that last shower of sparks coming pretty close to his eyebrows, though he hasn't noticed-

"Nothing," Nya says. "I just-" she shakes her head, a small smile on her face. "I didn't say anything earlier, but your voice wasn't the only thing that changed. You look different. Your _hair_ looks different. What made you change it?"

Lloyd runs a hand through it self-consciously. "You changed your hair, too," he says, pointedly.

"Yeah, I guess," Nya admits, tugging at a lengthened strand.

"Well, what made _you_ change it?"

Nya shrugs. "I've always had short hair," she says. "I wanted to have it longer for once." She glances at him. "You?"

Lloyd stares at his feet. "I…kinda wanted a change. I just - didn't want to see it. See him, I mean, when I looked in the mirror anymore. It was, uh, too similar."

"Oh," Nya says, softly. Lloyd doesn't meet her eyes, still staring fixedly at the ground.

"Well," Nya says. "You should still consider putting it in a ponytail. I bet Garmadon never wore _his_ hair like that, so you'd be safe."

Lloyd snorts in spite of himself. "Probably because he had taste."

"I'm just saying, don't come crying to me when you get your arm sliced off because your hair was in your face and - hey," she halts, frowning. "What do you mean, ' _had taste'_ , ponytails are _very_ tasteful."

"On _you_ , maybe."

"You _did_ already have a bowl cut, so what do you have to lose at this point?"

Lloyd elbows her, trying to look offended and failing. "It was the best I could do, okay?" he says. " _You_ try cutting your hair that young."

"I did," Nya says. "Remember? Kai and I staged an intervention for you, and Kai-"

"-tried to 'artistically singe' part of it off instead of using scissors, yeah, I couldn't forget that if I tried," Lloyd says, grinning.

"And then we set off the smoke alarm on the _Bounty_ , and everyone got soaked because Jay and I had just put in the sprinkler system."

"Oh, and it almost flooded the living room, and ended up frying the television set," Lloyd snorts, remembering the look on his uncle's face.

"I'd forgotten about that part," Nya says, giggling. Her smile fades into something more bittersweet, and she sighs.

"I wish..." She doesn't finish, but she doesn't have to.

"Yeah," Lloyd says, blowing a breath out. "Me too."

Nya gives him an odd look, one he can't quite decipher. "Do you…" She trails off.

Lloyd stares at her. "Do I what?"

Nya shakes her head. "Do you ever…get bitter, about everything?"

Lloyd shifts, at a loss. "Everything, like…?"

"I was just…" Nya takes a breath. "None of us have had…easy lives, but yours kinda - sucked, a lot, at the beginning. With all the responsibility and the Green Ninja stuff, too, but with what you lost mostly. And I - don't take this the wrong way, _please_ ," she says, insistently. "But so did Harumi's. In a way that sort of leaves you two…"

"Looking similar?" Lloyd says wryly, even as his stomach drops. Nya winces.

"Yeah," he says, quietly, staring at the ground. "I was a little bitter, maybe, once or twice. But Harumi lost her family. I found a new one." He gives her a weak smile. "I got the better end of the deal, I think."

Nya stares at him, her eyes a bit misty. "I'm sorry she took that from you," she gets out.

Lloyd shrugs, swallowing the painful lump in his throat. He grabs Nya's hand, a bit tighter than he means to. "She didn't take everything," he manages.

Nya blinks rapidly, then grips his hand back, leaning her head against his shoulder.

Lloyd waits a minute, then speaks up. "I'm sorry I scared you."

"I forgive you," Nya says. She hesitates. "I'm sorry I was such a jerk to you, and said all those things."

"I forgave you like, days ago. I know you didn't mean it."

"And…I'm sorry I tried to go after Harumi that other night, too," Nya says, quietly. "It's not as fun, watching people try to get themselves killed when you're on the other side."

"Yeah, well," Lloyd sighs. "We're both hypocrites, I guess."

Nya makes a low sound of amusement. Lloyd watches the first of the stars becoming visible in the night sky, trying not to shiver as the wind grows colder. He misses Kai.

"We should do something," he says, suddenly. "Something to honor them, you know, like a - like a-"

He doesn't want to say funeral. He's not going to say funeral.

Nya squeezes his hand. "We can make lanterns in the morning," she says, softly. "Like the ones for the Day of the Departed. And let them off tomorrow night before we leave."

Lloyd angles his head at her, and she just leans more heavily against him. "I've been thinking about it, too," she mutters.

"Okay then," Lloyd says, thickly. "Let's do it."

Nya nods. "But first, we sleep," she says, yawning. "Because I don't know about you, but that was _not_ the most relaxing fight I've ever had."

"Yeah," Lloyd says, unable to deny the fact that his eyelids are pretty much sliding closed of their own accord anymore. "Yeah, okay."

"C'mon, Rapunzel," Nya says, tugging him toward the monastery. "Let's go."

Lloyd sputters. "I only grew it out a _little_ -"

The temple is quiet inside when they step inside, the others having retreated to the spare rooms. Lloyd hesitates in the doorway. His room is still there, so technically, he does have a bed he can sleep in. But it's also the room he shared with the others. It's _their_ room, and Lloyd doesn't - he can't really stomach the idea of sleeping with so many memories in the same room right now-

His train of thought is cut off as Nya tosses a red blanket at him, and he barely catches it before it falls to the floor. He stares at her, and she tilts her head toward the couch.

"There's room," she says, as if that's self-explanatory enough, already settling in and scooting against one of the corners.

Lloyd blinks owlishly, then shrugs, joining Nya on the couch.

It takes them a moment of fidgeting, but they finally manage some semblance of a comfortable position. Nya steals the only pillow for herself, leaving Lloyd slumped against her shoulder.

He doesn't really mind. He pulls the blanket up to his shoulders, and takes a sharp breath. It smells like smoke and metal and the detergent Nya always uses, and Lloyd almost loses his balance against the sudden wave of homesickness that hits him.

Swallowing against the heavy lump in his throat, Lloyd tugs at the edges of the blanket, fidgeting. He hears a sigh from Nya. She drapes an arm around him, trapping him firmly in place.

" _Sleep_ ," she mutters, her voice thick with exhaustion.

Lloyd complies, willing himself to relax. The blanket cuts the chill of the temple, and he's finally able to stop shivering. He can hear the faint sound of snoring from down the hall, along with quiet rustling of blankets. Beside him, he listens as Nya's breathing evens out, slow and steady and calming. Lloyd lets his eyelids flutter closed, and for the first time in weeks, the hole in his chest doesn't feel quite as cold.

* * *

"Exemplary ninja, you two are."

A gravelly voice jolts Nya from her sleepy haze, and she snaps up abruptly, blinking. It takes her a minute to reorient herself. The sofa she's on belongs to the Temple of Airjitzu - which makes sense, because that's where she is - and the lump half on top of her is Lloyd, who is just sitting up beside her, rubbing his head and looking more disoriented than she is. Yawning, Nya turns her attention to the source of their rude awakening.

Mystaké is looking at them with a critical eye, shaking her head. "Sleeping around on the job - you'd better be glad I woke you up nicely."

Nya rubs her temples, suppressing a groan of irritation. _Nicely_ , ha.

Wait-

"It's good to see you, Mystaké," Lloyd says, through a stifled yawn. He freezes, suddenly realizing what he's said.

"Mystaké!" he yelps, jumping up and nearly sending Nya spilling to the floor. "You're okay!"

"Of course I am," she says, rolling her eyes. "It'll take more than the lord of all darkness and his little leash-holder to take me down."

"R-right," Lloyd says, a little awkwardly. Nya stands up next to him, picking the fallen blanket up and trying to brush her hair back into some semblance of style.

"Apparently that's all it takes for you two, though," Mystaké says, _tsking_ at their appearance. "You can't go running away from Ninjago and giving up this early on. What would your master say?"

Nya inhales sharply, and Lloyd flinches, looking down.

Mystaké seems oddly surprised by their reaction, surveying them with squinted eyes. "You two _are_ a sorry collection of ninja," she says waspishly. "I take it back, you can't face Garmadon with faces like _that_."

Nya ruffles in mild indignation, wanting to tell her that they _had_ faced Garmadon, thank you very much, and they all happened to make it out alive-

"I apologize," Lloyd says, softly. "We're still getting over our…our loss," he swallows.

Mystaké frowns. "Well, that's a bit dramatic," she says. "I understand you must miss your friends, but you could at least try and have a _little_ faith in them. They've got Master Wu with them, you know. I'm sure they're just fine."

Nya blinks, her brain screeching to a halt.

Lloyd opens his mouth. Then closes it. Then opens it again, staring at her and looking a good deal like a dead fish.

"But they're…they're dead," Nya finally gets out.

It's Mystaké's turn to blink. She glances at both of them in turn, before rolling her eyes heavenwards.

"Oh dear," she says. "You might want to sit down for this, then."

* * *

 **(I couldn't just leave them in crippling misery the _entire_ fic, okay)**


	10. Chapter 10

**Well, it's been fun, but we've finally reached the end! (Right after season 9 ended, too - oh well, there was an attempt made to stay within canon. Sort of.)** **I might post a few outtakes after this, sort of just snippets that didn't make it into the fic for...really good reason, if anyone's interested. (Or I might just post them anyways so everyone can see what an actual disaster my writing process is.) Other than that, this is the last chapter!**

 **I've had so much fun writing this, and you guys have been incredible throughout it all - thank you so much for all your support, I never would've finished this without you!**

* * *

The house Ronin finds for them in Jamanaki Village is actually pretty nice, by their standards. It's slightly bigger than Skylor's shop, but still cozy enough that they all manage to run into each other in the mornings.

This morning, however, they're not caught up in the usual buzz of preparation. They're taking, as Skylor puts it, a "recovery day", which apparently consists of sleeping for twelve hours straight (Lloyd didn't even know he _could_ sleep that long) before crashing in the living room for breakfast and watching television.

Lloyd might appreciate it more if the network had better content playing.

 _"With Emperor Garmadon in control of Ninjago, we will usher in a new age of peace! An age where no more innocent lives are lost, a world where-"_

"Oh, please," Skylor scoffs derisively from where she sits with her leg propped up on the sofa, flicking a piece of cereal at Harumi's grainy visage on the television screen. "How about a world where you shut your overdramatic mouth."

"Watch the TV!" Nya says, shooting Skylor a glare. "Pixal and I _just_ got this thing working, seriously."

"I wonder if she is aware that ninety-eight point eight percent of the city's civilians are against her," Pixal remarks, acidically. "Then again, for someone who ushers in an age of _peace_ by destroying people's lives and homes, I suppose we should not expect much."

Every head in the room swivels to stare at her.

"Wow," Skylor says, blinking. "And I thought _I_ was bitter."

Lloyd almost misses Pixal's eye roll, it's so subtle. "She is destroying Ninjago," she says, simply. Her expression goes dark, her voice growing cold. "And she's the reason my _boyfriend_ is _banished_ to another realm."

"Fair enough," Skylor nods.

"Hear, hear," Nya mutters, pulling one of Jay's old blankets over her head as she returns to fiddling with the weapon Lloyd had used back at Skylor's shop.

Lloyd says nothing, not exactly wanting to chime in on the state of his romantic life.

"Do we know anything about the realm of the Oni and Dragon?" Pixal asks, concern overtaking her expression. "I've been researching every platform available, and there's very little at best."

"It's more of a myth than anything, here," Misako sighs, from where she's hunched over a table with Mystaké. "You won't find much."

"I hope they're not getting themselves into too much trouble," Skylor murmurs, anxiously stirring at her cereal.

Nya gives a wry laugh. "Our guys?" she says, exchanging a look with Lloyd. "There's no way they're doing anything _but_ that."

Lloyd can't help the smirk that plays on his lips. "I'll bet Kai's already found a way to set something on fire."

"Himself, probably," Nya grins.

Lloyd almost laughs at that, but Harumi's raised voice from the television cuts him off.

 _"-as you all know by now, these traitors who call themselves a resistance were dealt a devastating defeat the other night, when we destroyed their hideout."_

Four heads snap toward the television in unison.

"Here we go," Nya mutters, as Pixal turns the volume up. The screen flashes from Harumi's visage to the smoldering ruins of a building. Lloyd and Nya both flinch, their eyes flicking briefly to each other's.

"They were certainly thorough," Pixal remarks sadly, as the camera pans across the wreckage.

"Oh, I _hate_ her," Skylor moans. "There goes years worth of savings and the Chen family legacy."

"Oh Skylor, I'm so sorry," Nya says, her expression stricken.

Lloyd probably looks about the same, the now-familiar swoop of guilt turning his stomach. "Skylor, I - I'm-"

He swallows. This is exactly why he hadn't wanted to drag her in.

(Well - that, her well-being, and like, her life in general, but still.)

Skylor waves them off, looking a little less miserable. "It's alright," she says, and she actually sounds like she means it. "Shops can be rebuilt, right? The important thing is that we all got out alive and safe."

Lloyd tries to ignore the side-eye he knows Nya's giving him.

"Besides," Skylor continues, looking thoughtful. "Maybe it was time I cut those last ties with my dad. I can build my own shop now, run it myself. No bad blood or legacy of corruption staining it."

Nya is giving him an entirely different kind of side-eye now, and Lloyd is finding it harder to ignore her. He _gets_ it, alright, she's not exactly being subtle.

Harumi's voice starts up again, and Lloyd suppresses the urge to shut the television off entirely by throwing his bowl at it.

 _"-While your self-proclaimed heroes once again fled the scene, abandoning the city they claim to hold so dear in true cowardly form-"_

Skylor makes an indignant noise. "Oh, for real? What next, is she going to try to blame us for breathing?"

"Actually, that'd be pretty in-character for her," Lloyd mutters.

Nya shoots him a look of concern. "It was run or be killed," she sighs heavily. Her brows draw into a glare. "And I seem to remember her getting ready to flee the scene herself, before the Colossi showed up."

"She is not a graceful loser, either," Pixal says, almost smugly.

 _"-rest assured, however, that we will catch them soon. Remember, it was only a few days ago that your idiot Green Ninja met his end at the hands of his own father, our new Emperor,_ _when he foolishly tried to challenge him-"_

Lloyd's stomach drops, and his blood goes cold. She wouldn't-

Of course she would. The footage of him from Kryptarium is already playing in vivid detail. It's only a brief scene, nothing more than a snippet of him crashing through the wall, really, and he can't even _see_ Garmadon in it, but-

It's enough.

"They're…telling people you're dead now?" Nya says, half in shock.

Lloyd doesn't acknowledge her, his eyes drawn to the screen against his will. Despite the voice screaming in his head to _look away_ , he can't - it's like he _has_ to watch his father beating him senseless again, stupid self-destructive masochistic part of his brain-

Pixal abruptly flips the channel to static, her eyes flicking from Lloyd to Nya in growing concern. Nya starts, saying something that Lloyd doesn't hear.

He stares down at his spoonful of cereal, his body moving on autopilot as he tries to blink the images seared into his brain away. The sick feeling is already building in his stomach, his lungs growing tight. Lloyd tries to breathe evenly as his chest constricts in panic, the sound of the Nya and Skylor's voices growing fainter and fainter-

"-guess I'll just date Lloyd then."

 _That_ pulls everything back into focus.

Lloyd chokes on his cereal. " _What?_ "

"If Kai and the others all die in the First realm," Skylor clarifies easily, as if she's talking about the weather. "I'll just date you."

Lloyd stares at her blankly. Maybe it's the fact that he's too busy choking to death on cereal, and his sense of hearing is going.

"Hey-" Lloyd jumps as Nya suddenly materializes on his other side. "Lloyd is off-limits."

"Says who?" Skylor says, raising an eyebrow in challenge.

"Says me," Nya replies, draping an arm around Lloyd's shoulder. She glances at him, a devious smirk forming as she jumps on board with Skylor. "Besides, I'd obviously get first dibs."

The sound coming out of his throat resembles more of a strangled wheezing. He knows what this is, and yeah, it's _working_ , but of all the distractions to choose-

He's forgotten that Nya is _every bit_ as bad at Kai, when given the opportunity.

"You're practically his sister," Pixal says evenly. Lloyd makes a mental note to thank her later, the only sane one left-

Pixal smirks. "It would make more sense if I dated him."

He takes it back. Lloyd wonders if he's started to turn blue yet.

"Let him decide, then," Skylor says, turning to him with a barely concealed grin. "Lloyd, which-"

"Please stop," he finally manages to wheeze, wondering if its possible for the universe to physically absorb him out of existence.

"Alright, alright, enough," Nya laughs. "Or we'll lose our leader before he even gets out of the house."

"You hear that, leader?" Skylor says, clapping him on the back as he sputters. "Don't quit on us now."

"Y'know, I don't remember actually agreeing to be the leader," Lloyd finally manages, when he gets his breath back. He glares at Nya through watering eyes. "Who signed me up for that one?"

"Destiny," Nya says airily, as she rejoins Pixal on the floor, picking her wrench back up and twirling it between her fingers. "That, and you're actually pretty good at it, when you're not having an existential crisis."

Lloyd resists the urge to cross his arms and deny it like a child.

"You will not be leading on your own, remember?" Pixal says, glancing at him encouragingly. "You have us. This is _our_ resistance. We take on Garmadon together."

"And this is why Pixal is the voice of reason," Skylor says. "With all of us working together, Harumi doesn't stand a chance."

Nya's gun suddenly sparks, sending her and Pixal scrambling back from it with a yelp as it starts smoking.

"We…could probably use a little more help, though," Skylor adds, watching as the weapon bursts into flames.

Nya quickly puts it out with a well-placed jet of water before standing back up, plopping back down on the couch next to Lloyd and sighing.

"Our own Sons of Garmadon, as it were," she mutters. "Does anyone know how to start up a bike gang?"

"I don't know about that, but I have been keeping tabs on some of the Elemental masters," Pixal says. "Skylor has, as well."

"Yeah," Skylor says, brightening. "I've kept in touch with a lot of them, I'm sure they'd be willing to help."

"I might still have Chamille's number," Lloyd pipes up. "And she probably knows how to get in touch with Toxicita."

Nya looks at Lloyd, the mutual beginnings of hope in their eyes. "Okay then," she says, with a spark of determination. "Let's get on that."

"You'll need to armor up as well," Misako says, finally standing up from he table and approaching them. She eyes the healing gash on Lloyd's cheek with thinly-veiled worry. "Harumi will likely bring her worst, now that you've slipped through her fingers again."

"Already on it," Nya says, as Pixal hands her a notepad. "How do you feel about steel, Lloyd?"

Lloyd shrugs. "I trust whatever you come up with." He pauses, briefly chewing on his lip. "Make it green, though."

Nya blinks in surprise, before her face splits into a grin. "You got it."

"That's more like it," Skylor tells Pixal, under her breath.

"Don't forget, we'll need better transportation, too," Ronin speaks up. "Taking to the sky is gettin' too conspicuous."

"On that, too," Nya says. "Pixal's helping me draw up something extra special for dealing with that Colossi."

"It needs more canons," Pixal says, absently. "But yes, we'll be prepared."

"Then we've got our work cut out for us," Lloyd says, rising from the couch. It's a bit hard to look like the leader of a resistance in his pajamas, but he'll give it his best. He's got a lot of moping around to make up for. "Let's be ready to move out by tonight."

There's a chorus of support, Misako giving him a soft smile as Nya helps Skylor up from the couch, standing next to Pixal.

"Oh, and one more thing," Skylor says. They turn to her. "The next time Harumi calls Lloyd an idiot on live television, Nya, I will personally fly you in so you can spear her through the head this time."

"I would do it now, if I could," Pixal says. "I would fly the mech straight into her and crush her."

"Okay, that's not…no," Lloyd sighs. "Can we stay focused on what's important?"

"Hey, you're the one that wanted to blow her up," Nya shrugs.

"And I still stand by that as a good plan," Lloyd huffs. "Just…not right now."

"Fine. Build the resistance, then blow Harumi up," Skylor says. "Good plan, Karloff's gonna love it."

The fall into their own preparations, Mystaké taking Misako aside as Pixal helps Skylor pull up the contact information for the Elemental masters. Lloyd feels a bubble of determination form in his chest. He looks at Nya, who smiles at him.

Lloyd returns it. For the first time in weeks, it feels real.

* * *

Ninety percent of the credit for their suddenly drastic mood shift to positivity belongs to Mystaké, really.

...okay, maybe a hundred percent, but they were _trying_ to get there on their own. They had made some ground.

It turns out that you just can't beat the news that everyone you had been mourning as dead is actually alive, though.

The aftermath of Mystaké's world-shaking announcement had been…probably more dramatic than necessary, half of which was spurred on by Mystaké's complete and utter lack of concern.

"Why didn't you _tell_ us-"

"I've been on the run since Garmadon took over. Besides, I thought it was rather obvious."

" _Obvious_ -?!"

"With the Traveler's Tea I gave them."

"You gave them what - _when_ -"

"And then, of course, there weren't any bodies-"

"We - we didn't really have the chance to-"

"-not to mention, _half the ship_ is missing, and here I thought you were supposed to be clever-"

"-I was five stages into shock, okay, I didn't- I didn't even think -"

Eventually, Mystaké had managed to clarify to them all that instead of having been crushed slowly in an agonizing death, the guys and half the _Bounty_ were actually in the First Realm, courtesy of Mystaké's Traveler's Tea.

In hindsight, something Lloyd probably should have noticed in the first place, but hindsight is 20/20, and all.

It's Harumi's fault. He's just gonna blame her.

"And there's no magical way to just…bring them back now?" Lloyd asks, squinting at the cup of tea Mystaké's handed him.

"No," she says, bluntly. "Now drink the tea."

Lloyd eyes her. "Last time you gave me tea, it changed my eye color and left the worst taste in my mouth ever."

"It saved your life, small price to pay," Mystaké says, giving him a look. "And your change in eye color is a direct response to the loss of your power, not a result of my tea."

Lloyd looks down at that, to where his hands are wrapped around the mug. It feels like he's gone years without his powers - almost as if he's forgetting what the green glow of energy feels like. He doesn't like that.

"You wouldn't happen to have a way to bring it back, would you?"

Mystaké shakes her head, a bit regretfully. "That's up to you, I'm afraid," she says. "And no, don't ask me how. You're going to have to figure this one out yourself."

"You're just like him, aren't you," Lloyd mutters, kicking at the floor.

"Your uncle? Not quite," Mystaké says, with a hint of a smile. "Something far different, in fact."

Lloyd looks up at her. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Mystaké sips evenly at her tea. "You're a clever boy, young Garmadon," she says. She pauses, eyeing him critically. "When you want to be."

Lloyd bristles.

"I'm sure you'll figure it out," Mystaké says. She winks at him, and Lloyd stares at her.

"No, you _are_ just like him," he sighs, before draining the rest of his tea.

She cackles at that. "One should say that _he_ is just like _me_ ," she says. "We do share…a thing or two in common, if you choose to think of it that way."

Lloyd stares at her blankly, utterly at a loss. The only response jumping to his head is _"you're both old"_ which is one) probably inappropriate, and two) not exactly true at the moment anyways.

"Don't worry, you'll figure it out eventually," Mystaké says. Her voice lowers, almost ominously. "It's in your blood to think like me, after all."

Lloyd blinks. Unless she's hinting at what he thinks she is…that really doesn't help, either.

"Well, thanks for the tea, then," he finally says, deciding he probably wouldn't get a straight answer anyways, even if he tried. "And for saving the guys. And for my life, I guess."

Mystaké waves him off. "Think nothing of it, young Garmadon," she says. "Now is the time for you to focus on your future."

"I'm trying to," Lloyd says, bracing himself on his elbows and rubbing at his forehead. "It's not exactly easy. We're gonna need a lot of luck to pull a win off."

"I don't particularly believe in luck," Mystaké purses her lips. "It's a silly thing to pin your hopes on."

"Aren't you and Uncle Wu always preaching about destiny, though?" Lloyd says. He tries not to let the bitterness leak into his voice. "You sure like to pin your hopes on _that_."

"Destiny is a good deal different from luck, child," she says, critically. "And stop sulking. It's a bad look on you."

Lloyd flushes, struggling to compose his expression. "I'm not sulking," he mutters. "I'm just _slightly_ concerned about my homicidal father and his hundred-foot rock pile of doom he's got."

Mystaké is quiet for a beat, her eyes piercing as they study him. Lloyd resists the urge to duck under the table to escape her gaze.

"I don't believe in luck," Mystaké finally says. "I do, however, believe in you."

Lloyd blinks. "Um…thank you?"

"You know," she continues, sifting her tea. "Out of all your family, I happen to find you the most interesting. Less boring than your uncle, and not as misguided as your father." She takes a sip, before setting her cup down.

"You're not bound to either side - not your father's, nor your uncle's. Not the dragon, nor the Oni. It's an interesting position," she muses, giving him a crafted look. "You respect the past, but you're not bound to it. You're able to let go - something many have never quite achieved."

"So you're saying…I need to let go?" Lloyd asks, hesitantly.

Mystaké nods.

"Um…of what, exactly…?"

Mystaké sighs. Then abruptly hits him in the knee with her staff.

"Of your obliviousness, apparently," she mutters, ignoring his indignant yelp. "You'll figure that out later as well. I _hope_."

Lloyd rubs at his knee, chagrined. "This is _really_ not helping, you know that?"

Mystaké shakes her head, her eyes flicking briefly skywards.

"Look to your friends," she says, almost kindly. "That's where you'll defeat your father. You already have more in them than he ever will."

Lloyd glances behind him, to where Nya and Pixal are re-bandaging Skylor's leg, laughing at something Ronin's said.

"Yeah," he says, with a small smile of his own. "I really do, don't I."

"Just try not to get them all horribly murdered by your father," Mystaké adds.

Lloyd turns slowly back to her, giving her a look of disbelief.

"What?" Mystaké says, innocently. "I'm just keeping things in perspective for you."

"Thanks," Lloyd says, as sarcastically as he can manage.

"You're quite welcome, young Garmadon."

* * *

It doesn't take them long to get ready, but it takes them long enough that Lloyd is able to find a brief moment to slip out by himself. He's in his new gi, the armored green fabric comfortable and secure, but he's brought one of Cole's old hoodies to stay somewhat incognito. The black jacket hangs a little too long on him (okay, a lot too long, Cole is _tall_ ) but it also disguises the signature green, which is the point.

He weaves his way through the semi-crowded streets of Jamanakai, listening in vaguely to snippets of conversation as he goes. He doesn't catch any real reason to be on alert - it seems the Sons of Garmadon are pretty confined to Ninjago City alone right now.

Still, it's probably smart not to spend too long out here. He's only got one thing he wants to see, anyways.

* * *

It doesn't take Nya long to find him, but then again, Lloyd's starting to suspect she has a sixth sense when it comes to tracking him down. The whole team, actually. Everyone's got a built-in _Lloyd's-in-danger_ radar, because FSM forbid Lloyd go anywhere on his own.

Well, they've kind of got justification now, he thinks morosely.

"Thought I might find you here," Nya says, drawing up next to him where he stands on the street corner.

"I figured as long as we were here, I should take the time to revisit," Lloyd says, a little self-consciously. "This is…this is where it all began for me, you know."

Nya stares up at the street sign, her eyes wide. "That feels like ages ago," she says. She glances at him. "Man, you really _were_ a shrimp back then. Just the tiny little makings of a future Green Ninja."

"I was like, nine," Lloyd rolls his eyes. His voice turns bitter. "And I wasn't anything back then. Just a brat who thought my father could solve everything."

 _Poor, stupid, oblivious past self,_ Lloyd thinks resentfully.

Nya nudges his shoulder. "You were never nothing," she says, firmly. "You were Lloyd, resident bratty punk - and my friend."

She pauses, a smile crossing her face. "We were tight back then too, remember?"

A tiny smile of his own pulls at his lips. "Yeah, we were, weren't we."

"The babies of the group, always left behind on missions. That's been us from day one," she huffs. "And here we are, left behind by them again. Literally nothing's changed."

"I don't think they had as much of a choice this time," Lloyd says.

Nya folds her arms. "Well, still."

She falls quiet for a moment, before speaking up again, quieter this time. "And, by the way, your father's never defined who you are, Lloyd. He didn't then, he doesn't now, and he never will."

Lloyd bites his lip, looking anywhere but at her. "You think so?"

"I know so," Nya says, with confidence. "And so do the rest of us."

Lloyd turns that over in his head. "Thanks, Nya," he says, quietly.

"You're welcome," she says, looking at him ruefully. "You can repay me by believing it someday."

"I'm working on it," Lloyd mutters. "I'll get there."

Nya shakes her head, looking back up at the sign. "It really does feel a bit like we're back at square one again, doesn't it? Saving Ninjago from total destruction, fighting Garmadon again."

"Yeah," Lloyd says, a little unsteadily. "And I'll probably have to kill him again, too. Fun times."

"I mean, if you'd rather not, I'm sure there are plenty of other people who'd love to do it," Nya says.

Lloyd gives her a look. Nya just shrugs, her expression turning grumpy.

"But honestly, with how we've been going, I wouldn't trust anyone to die properly," she mutters. "Can't kill anyone around here for good, can you? People popping back to life all over the place, with no thought of decency."

"Who knows," Lloyd says. "Maybe the third time'll be the charm for my dad."

Nya rolls her eyes. Her eyes widen and she glances at him, as if just catching something. "Hey, you're acknowledging him again."

Lloyd shrugs, his expression neutral. "Can't really escape it, at this point. Might as well embrace it."

His lips quirk. "Besides, if you think about it, the more I refer to him as my dad, the more likely he is to die. I mean, I'm batting two for two in the loss of fathers, so-"

Nya shoves him. "You're a _mess_."

"Um, touché?"

"Fine, we're both messes," Nya sighs. "Emotional catastrophes, trying to save Ninjago on our own."

"Well, at least we won't be as devastatingly rage-driven when we face Harumi now," Lloyd offers.

"Tell me about it. I've got like, _weeks_ of crying over Jay for no reason to make up for, thanks to her," Nya growls. "So many wasted tears, and in front of _Ronin_ -"

"You cried in front of Ronin?"

"I cried on top of Ronin, pretty much," Nya says, ruefully. Lloyd giggles, and Nya looks infinitely pleased with herself at the sound. She elbows him, rolling her eyes. "He's a decent listener when he wants to be, alright?"

"Yeah, yeah," Lloyd says. "It's not like I have much room to talk, anyways."

"Wasted hydration?"

"Wasted hydration," Lloyd repeats. "All these tear-stained shirts we gotta wash now."

"We'll make the guys do it, when they come back," Nya says. She pauses, then shakes her head.

"It's weird," she says, with a small laugh. "I've spent the last few weeks catching myself so much, having to remind myself that they're gone, and now-"

"-it's like we have to remind ourselves they're coming back," Lloyd finishes.

"They _will_ come back," Nya says, her voice confident. "They're our family – they're probably already halfway there to finding a way."

"Can't keep them away for long, I guess," Lloyd says, with a hint of a smile.

"In the meantime, we've got our work cut out for us," Nya says, with a small grin of her own. "Ready for another beginning?"

"Yeah," Lloyd says, inhaling slowly. "Let's make sure there's a Ninjago around for them to return to."

Nya links Lloyd's arm in her own, falling into step with him. "So," she says. "I was thinking we should coordinate. Have some sort of team symbol, you know?"

"If this is about getting me to wear a ponytail again-"

"I was going to say that we should use the Wu crew symbol, but now that you mention it-"

Lloyd elbows her, their laughter mingling with the people crowding the streets as they make their way forward in the daylight. Back to Ninjago City, back to Harumi. Back to their people.

Lloyd is finished hiding in the shadows. They've got a fight to win, and he's got a father to face.

And this time, he won't make the mistake of going in alone.


End file.
